Proof there is no god

One positive outcome of the tsunami is that some people are beginning to doubt their faith in an almighty and benign god that will protect and deliver them from evil.
I never had any doubt, of course, I'm not that kind of superstitious person, but hearing that the tsunami has killed tens of thousands of people, among them an inordinate number of children, while missing fat German crooks, really clinched it for me: He's not omnipotent or merciful, just a sad, vengeful, hateful, superannuated piece of the imagination.

The Beach, swamped

In an attempt not to sound too callous after the Indian Ocean tsunami (but please, no more moaning about the New Zealand road toll, it does not rate!) it came a few years too late. If only it could have struck when they were filming that turkey with Leonardo DiCaprio, it would have actually done us a favour. Of course, Tilda Swinton should have been miraculously saved - but what was she thinking signing up for that film? And what were they thinking at TV3 scheduling The Beach on the very night of the disaster? Did someone have inside information and thought it would be a ratings grabber? And I thought my middle name was Cynic.

Queens' Tour of the North Island

What I did on my holidays: drove through wintry showers from Waiheke Island to Napier. Lake Taupo looked windswept and the volcanoes were obscured by low grey cloud. The welcome was, as always, warm by Roger and Ross in their Napier Hill homestay.
They are now officially the only gay venue in the Hawke's Bay, now that the Embassy in Hastings has closed. Highly recommended if you are passing through and have enough of art deco architecture and wineries.
On to Masterton and Martinborough for family Christmas lunches and dinners. By then the weather had improved for a grand Boxing Day out at the beach in Riversdale on the eastern coast of the Wairarapa, an area unfrequented by tourists.
Back to Auckland via another set of in-laws near Palmerston North, where the highlight of the trip was the new massive windfarm on the Manawatu hills.
Some nimbies oppose the windfarm, but all I can say is: I'd rather have the slender, elegant, white windmills wooshing than a power station a la Huntly thundering, hissing and belching on my doorstep. 100,000 people get their power cleanly and efficiently from a few dozen beautiful additions to the landscape. We need another 40 of them around the country.
The trip back north went past Vinegar Hill, a notorious gay camping ground over the summer holidays, but since it was 8.30am, all what was missing was a road sign warning: "Shhh! Queens sleeping". So we pressed on.
Ewen had never seen Mt Ngaruhoe with snow on in Summer, and Mt Ruapehu also looked fantastic with huge amounts of snow on its flanks. The Desert Road is one of the most scenic roads in New Zealand, but there was some strange graffiti on the road signs, outing two men as "homosexuals" by describing their sexual actions in a few spray painted words. What an odd place to do so.
Back home now and back to work over the next holidays.

All I want for Christmas:

1. for New Zealand to join the European Union. Hey, if the Turkeys can, why can't the Kiwis? And swap the South Pacific Peso for the Euro.
2. no more horrible reports about non-consensual torture uncleverly disguised as intelligence gathering.
3. a summertime (and the living is easy, your mummy's rich and your daddy's goodlooking)

Consumer Guide for Sexually Active Guys

If you are planning to visit Auckland over the holidays and want some respite from the turkey and the mother-in-law, we have now collated our popular CONSUMER GUIDE FOR SEXUALLY ACTIVE GUYS on one blog entry for your easy navigation through Auckland's sexual underworld. Please leave comments of your experiences! Happy Yuletiding.

Pre-yuletide

Pre-yuletide stress and lack of time, so the blogging will be minimal. Next weekend will be spent in the Wairarapa with the in-laws, a good natured bunch so family stress is largely absent and confined to dealing with (to?) screaming bored kids.
Nothing has much grabbed my attention lately, except drunk company clients baselessly complaining about my work, but thankfully taking it in good grace when pointed out that the alcohol was talking (out of their arse, as usual).
Maybe I should pitch a new reality TV show to TVNZ: The $800,000 Challenge. Contestants slug it out to be the best news reader on TV and the winner goes into a head to head clash with Ms Bailey, as the viewer decides who gets the $800,000-a-year job. Losers can always get to work at TV3 (or Prime TV if they are really desperate)

I am in two minds about the merits of sending pensioners to Iraq to join the war effort.
On the one hand, far too many good-looking soldiers have died and it's about time the ugly ones got their chance to do so.
But why haven't all these young first-time voting Bush-ites joined up yet? It's the least thing they should do to back up their November vote for war. You can't all stay members of the 101st Keyboard War Brigade and not put yourself on the line for Your Leader.
From a macro-economic perspective and a Government finance point of view, getting your pensioners killed while fighting your battles is as good as a cull to save on pension payments - hey, you had to pay them anyway, so no extra costs are involved.
War and politics are a cynics' game.

Dominican Friars caring for Muslim "terrorist threat"

Algerian refugee and asylum seeker Ahmed Zaoui was released on bail in the care of the Dominican Friars in Auckland. This is big news in New Zealand, because it's not an every day event that we get cases like this.
What interested me more in the story, as an amateur historian, was the "Dominican Friars" bit. So I looked them up, because I remembered reading about them as having a less than savoury history. And yes, they were (are?) an order deeply involved in the Inquisition:

The papal inquisition was staffed by professionals, trained specifically for the job. Individuals were chosen from different orders and secular clergy, but primarily they came from the Dominican Order. The Dominicans were favoured for their history of anti-heresy, education, and skill in debate. As mendicants, they were accustomed to travel and not interested in personal gain.

(from: Wikipedia)
I'm not sure whether I would enjoy being released into their care (unless "Dungeons, Friars and Inquisition" was a theme night at The Basement)

Update on La Coddington

The old biddy has now said she will vote for the Civil Unions Bill. No news from an impending Marriage Act Private Member's Bill amendment as suggested in my letter to her (no reply from her either).

Starship Troopers shower scene

During the mercifully brief ad breaks in Inspector Morse on UKTV last night, I switched over to Starship Troopers on Sky Movies, a truly atrocious shoot 'em up sci-fi dirge.
The only interesting bit in the film is, of course, the shower scene. It's the usual coy camera shot above the waist only. For most pimply adolescents this has the bonus of the girls' breasts visible during the banter. And, of course, the boys' fabulous pecs - the only thing a movieplex dweller can aspire to.
The terrible sexism of the shot was not the girls proudly displaying their tits, which turns the boys into soaped-up droolers, but the clearly visible (and listed as a goof) boxer shorts on one of the boys.
I hear it is fairly common in New Zealand sports clubs that men shower in their underpants. Personally, I can't think of anything more disgusting. Why isn't that unnatural behaviour outlawed?

The geography Olympics

Remember my earlier post on geography and maps? Now there is a worldwide geography quiz, where you can enter and play for your country. You just have to locate 10 countries on a world map and your score affects the world ranking of your country.
Of course, humility never being my forte, I scored a perfect 100% (twice!), and helped New Zealand improve its standing by 0.02%. (A score addition to the average helps less and less as the number of participants grows) But it's still a paltry 56% overall, and a placing at 105th. Australia is 4% behind us in 134th place. So get playing! It's free.
As an aside: Vatican City scores 63% with 233 participants so far. Since it only has 1,000 inhabitants, you have to wonder whether those priests, monks and, more intriguingly, the Swiss Guards have nothing else to do. I guess the Holy Papa scored 100% too with a little help from his supernatural friends (with a steadier hand than his).

UPDATE: I've played it half a dozen times now - still with an intact 100% score each - but the system is flawed: you can play for a country different from your own as they don't check IP sources. This means you can bring a disliked country's score down by playing really badly, or alternatively, play really well for a country listed just below the country you want to bring down in the ranking (as I did with Australia by playing for Luxembourg) - choose a country to play for with a low participant count, then your average will make a bigger difference.

A Letter to La Coddington

Deborah Coddington, Member of Parliament
Wellington

Dear Madame Coddington,

I noted your vote against the Civil Union Bill in its second reading on Thursday, and your accompanying comment to the New Zealand Herald:

It's politically correct clap-trap. It's discriminatory. I've nothing against gay marriage but that is not what this is.
It is saying to same-sex or gay couples "you are not quite good enough to have a marriage so we'll give you second best". If it was a gay marriage bill I would support it.
This is just the Labour Government vote-buying, we're-nice-to-gays garbage. Why shouldn't they get married? It should be up to the churches or institutions to say whether they want to marry them or not, not us.

I am happy to see you side with lesbian godmother Marilyn Waring on the perception that the Bill proposes second class marriage and you and her want the full Monty.
You, like Madame Waring who has had her chance of shattering the Government of the day and took it, now have the opportunity to introduce a Private Member's Bill to amend the Marriage Act for it to cover other sexual orientations.
Since the latest poll readings for your party are not pointing to a large chance of you being returned to parliament next year, there is no time to lose - especially since other ACT supporters are calling for your (and your fellow nay voters') head to roll, including in comments on your leader's blog.
So there is no moment to lose to establish your social liberal credentials, I beseech you, and haste thyself to the Speaker's Office. I can promise many a liberal MP will wave his and her complementary order papers in support. It may also greatly increase your chances in the Auckland Central electorate next year. We faggots know a liberal soul when we see one, but are an unforgiving lot when you cross us.

Yours etc. etc.

Fisking Garth "Vader" George

Good ole doddery Garth is at it again.

The public relations campaign aimed at the acceptance of homosexuals and the homosexual lifestyle as "normal" has been going on for nearly 40 years and it has to be said that it has been the most outstandingly successful example of spin-doctoring in the history of mankind.

And let's not forget that's much faster than the feminist movement, which had to wait 50 years to get the vote and is still waiting for pay equity. And it took 5,000 years for slaves to get their condition abolished (or at least be treated as "normal", see: sex slavery, indebted bondage and people smuggling).

Thus, within a few decades of coming out of the closet, homosexuals are to be found in all areas of life. They are in positions of influence in all the mainline churches, all the professions, in the media, the justice system and law enforcement, healthcare, education, Government agencies (human rights, censorship, Aids), and state bureaucracies in general.

And let's not forget the All Blacks, the armed forces, successful capitalist enterprises, the arts and hairdressing crafts. In the past, which is not a foreign country for our Garth - he fondly remembers and pines for the era when buggery and margarine were illegal - no homosexual person, closeted or gossiped about, has ever held a job, in public or private sectors. No, they lived on eating babies, poisoning wells and consorting with the Evil One.

And in comparatively recent years homosexuals have been elected to the legislatures, not just of New Zealand but of countries all over the world.

Damn democracy, damn elections, damn universal franchise.

Yet all the best and most objective evidence suggests that they compose a maximum of 2 per cent, and probably less, of the population, in this country at least.

2%? We surely have enough firewood to build the stakes for all of them. While we're at it, why not proscribe any religious adherents (a lifestyle choice if ever there was one!) of sects, nay, cults, that represent less than 2%? Their lifestyle choice is not a valid one so their religion should not deserve the recognition of the true path laid out by the bishop Garth.

It is an astounding story of success for what was a seriously disadvantaged minority group and just goes to show what can be achieved by single-minded effort, sacrifice and perseverance.

Yeah, see if you can top that effort, ACT members. 2%! 2%! 2%!

As I have said before, I am prepared to bet a year's pay that if the Civil Union Bill and its much more sinister sister, the Relationships (Statutory References) Bill, were put to secret ballot by referendum, they would be soundly defeated.

And we're willing to bet Garth's Herald writing fee that if a referendum was held to decide on whether pensioners should be paid out of current worker wage packets (especially when said pensioners are drawing a nice packet from writing moralistic sermons in the local daily about how said workers should lead their lives and organise their relationships), or whether Viagra should be classified as a class A drug and condemned as a lifetyle choice because said pensioners use it as part of their hedonism without leading to conception, there may not be much doubt about that outcome either.

So I will simply sit back and take comfort once again in those wonderful and eternal words uttered by our Lord Jesus Christ just minutes before he died hanging on the Cross

If only Mel Gibson had taken Garth's advice instead of lumping us with such an interminable dirge.

I will simply sit back and take comfort that Garth George uncannily resembles one of those dinosaurs looking anxiously up into the sky at that flash of light 65 million years ago.

Barry Buys The Beach

'Veteran punk' Barry Jenkin has bought into Waiheke Island's Beach FM.
He is currently reading breakfast news on the station and overhauling the music.

This is not necessarily to my own taste as there are only about eight people on the island who like punk.

Jenkin says he is as surprised as anyone that he is now a Waiheke resident, having bought a house there a month ago, and radio station owner.

If anyone had told me six months ago that I'd be living on Waiheke, I would've laughed in their face. But, it's not the wild west outpost it was in the '70s.

The station is manned by about 20 volunteers and Jenkin aims to increase its revenue, seeing huge market potential over summer when Waiheke's population swells from 8000 people to 28,000.
The legendary broadcaster was 'sacked' from his Sunday night slot at Radio Hauraki earlier this year but has since been making regular Friday morning appearances with Camilla Martin on Auckland's 95bFM.

(I wonder who the other seven are.)
News item via Peter