Isn't the net the natural home of conspiracy theories?

On the day of the acceptance speech by John Kerry, news comes in that a "key Al-Qaeda suspect" has been arrested.
Anyone wants to bet Osama bin-Laden will be paraded at the Republican Convention in September? Or will he have to wait until the November 1 news cycle?

Bring it on!

National MP Nick Smith has promised an end to the "spiritual nonsense" he says is being forced on New Zealanders by Christian churches. He says his party will end "bizarre" restraints on legitimate commercial activity on such days as "Good" Friday.
Smith described as "fantasy" the popular Christian belief that an ancestor called Jesus Christ came back to life two days after dying whilst nailed to a wooden cross.
"We won't stop there," Smith said, saying that the attention paid to objections from Christian churches to the Civil Union Bill "shows just how politically correct and stupid" Parliament had become: "Why, when medical science quite clearly demonstrates that homosexuality is simply an element of human diversity, should the country be held to ransom by people holding the hocus-pocus view that it is somehow sinful? I mean, are people with freckles 'sinful' too?"
Smith said National would "remove any references to the spiritual world" from legislation, and end the "credibility" extended to Christian beliefs by such customary practices as opening Parliament with a prayer.
He was joined by the Act Party spokesman Ken Shirley, who attacked "the nonsense of allowing spiritual and metaphysical considerations to creep into our laws". Shirley said his party wanted urgently to curb the right of Christians to object to the placement of legitimate businesses such as brothels near their sacred places.

Source: Mediawatch, which added "satire advisory" to it.
Where are the politicians with balls to bring it on?

S.O.S.

The trial has started of the accused in the McNee murder case. Details here. The victim's last movements were traced to The Den (an SOS site, subject of an earlier post) and a K Road bar, The Owl.
Following a John Waters aphorism "A man always looks better under arrest", the accused looks eminently fuckable and you can't really fault David McNee's sexual taste.
But my advice would be: keep your sex on site, it's safer than takeaways.

A typographical error or just ordinary ignorance?

Had to laugh in the car the other morning when the presenter on Morning Report (it may have been Rae Lamb) in summarising the Butler report mentioned that the British Intelligence service was called M16 [M-sixteen]. That old bearded National Radio sage Geoff Robinson had to correct her off air, and she apologised later. Anti-public radio pundits among you of course applaud this display of bad journalism. But, shock, horror, the same happened on Al-Jazeera in an opinion piece by Linda Heard. Did Rae and Linda go to the same journalism school?
But wait, there is more: "M-sixteen" also appeared in Bagehot's column in The Economist (July 17 print edition, I'm sure they corrected this already online).
Not a leftwing, proto-commie, towel-wearing conspiracy against the competence of pronouncing the name of our infallible intelligence services after all.

Wir Fahren, Fahren, Fahren auf der Autobahn

Out of Germany, that bastion of personal road freedom, now comes the disturbing news there may be more speed restrictions imposed on the Autobahn. Proponents say it would cut pollution and petrol consumption.
Never mind that the Autobahn system was constructed and designed with high speeds in mind - unlike the really dangerous goat paths that pose as roads in New Zealand.
It may amaze you that Prime Minister Helen Clark covering 200km in 2 hours by car is actually headline news in New Zealand, but given the second world conditions here, one should be surprised about how she did it rather than the tut-tutting by local peasants and other politicians. I loved the take by the BBC saying she was stranded on the South Island. And really, there is nothing worse that can happen to you when you got a rugby match to attend.
Anyway, back to the Autobahn speed limit proposal. This would be a grave mistake for the German economy, which is built on the manufacture and export of automobiles that can go faster than 100kph. If there is nowhere in the world that you can go fast in your expensive car, why would you buy it in the first place? You might as well buy business class plane tickets instead, which, incidentally use far more kerosene and pollute much more than your car.
(Disclaimer: I don't have a driver's licence and I have never driven a car)

Don't Swedish diplomats have a short life expectancy?

Best reaction to the US Senate and Butler reports, quoted from National Public Radio: Hans Blix called the search for WMDs in Iraq a "faith-based initiative."

Martha Stewart's jail cell

I think I'll stick to Oz.
Picture courtesy of Talisman.org - (lots of funny stuff)

Queen Helen, Hammer of the Israelites

Maybe you have received the spam emails too asking you whether you wanted to buy a new nationality, including passports. Why didn't the Israeli spies just buy their papers in Hong Kong? Thus saving our Opposition parties the embarrassing spectacle of our Prime Minister having the opportunity to act all statesperson-like. As Russell Brown said, it's hard to imagine Don Brash making quite the impact on BBC World as Helen did.
I think she would make an excellent UN Secretary General.

Rotten Tomatoes

At film festival time in Auckland it's always easy to decide which films to go and see. Just wait for the list of films the Society for the Promotion of Community Standards (doesn't that sound Orwellian?) is going to try and get banned, and you know immediately which ones to book. Saves time wading through the ever thickening festival catalogue looking for interesting movies.
The Society also provides hints on which films to avoid. They actually promote films by taking them to the Censor to be re-classified as suitable for children, such as that recent Mel Gibson S&M dirge. You then just avoid them like the plague.

I want my eagles back

When your hegemony is under threat, you particularly want to rely on accurate information on perceived and actual dangers that are lurking. The US Senate Commission's report into the failure of the CIA only provides us with sorrow that the US public has been deceived in supporting the war in Iraq, but also with dread that the actual danger from terror attacks was not seen coming prior to 9/11.
It's good to watch a rerun of I, Claudius on UKTV. I'd like to imagine Mr GW Bush screaming out "I want my eagles back!" just like Augustus did when his legions were massacred in Germania. Seems like the Roman version of the CIA wasn't up to their job either.

The News According to Murdoch

Or as in Faux News slogans: We Report [wrongly Gephardt as running mate] You Decide [to vote for Edwards as VP]

Vanity Googling?

One of the pleasures of a web counter is being able to see what web surfers have searched for before landing on one's blog. I am surprised that the most common search item that ends up on mine is "Alex Behan" and his penis. This was the subject of one of my first blog ever, and it is nice to see that historical items still have such an attraction. Maybe it's the lack of such forthright information on the TV2 Top of The Pops site that forces people to go further afield to find what they are looking for.

Consumer Guide For Sexually Active Guys

An updated version of this guide can be found here.