Google ads, the alternative to superannuation saving

For a while now I have had minimal advertising on this blog by Google ads, and they kindly keep me up to date as to progress of impressions and profit sharing. In August I earned $0.02 and in September $0.01. Since Google pays out as soon as a total reaches $100, at the current pace I'll get my first cheque in the mail in about 5,000 to 10,000 months, which is between the years 2071 and 2138.
This seems to be a good wicket Google is on. Let's suppose there are about 15 million blogs with Google ads on them. The vast majority will have click through rates like mine (I have yet to meet the first blogger who lives off his advertising), so Google will collect advert fees from advertisers but doesn't need to pay out to blog owners. Basically, it gets to keep the $0.01 a month from 15 million blogs, that is $150,000 per month or $1.8 million a year. On which it earns interest before having to pay it out in 70 to 100 years' time. The wonders of compound interest being what they are, this will yield many hundreds of millions of dollars for Google. No wonder its shareprice is 2.5 times last year's issue price.
So, bloggers, shall we all delete the Google ads? Will capitalism as we know it then collapse?

Becks

Here's a picture of my cat, Becks. Isn't he a handsome pussy?

Political analysis of the week

Lawrence O'Donnell comments on President Bush's post-Rita speech (on The McLaughlin Group):

There are few Presidents in our history more lost than that. [Members of panel laugh out loud.] For him to find this desperate pathway from Katrina, from lives lost because of government mishandling of the hurricane that hit New Orleans. To get a path from there to his war on terror, and somehow link the hurricane to Al Qaeda, is as large as possible flight of mental illness as we've seen in a President.

What US state should you live in?

What state should you live in? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as LOUISIANA. THE BIG EASY IS FOR YOU...LOUISIANA LOUISIANA 58% California 50% FLORIDA 42% WASHINGTON 42% NEVADA 42% NEW YORK 34% WYOMING 33% UTAH 0%

Considering the political score earlier, would they have me in Louisiana?
Mind you, Al-Qaeda TV's first newscast featured Hurricane Katrina as

the wrath of Allah that visited the city of homosexuals.

Maybe I'd feel at home there after all. And, by the way, if Allah smote New Orleans for its faggot citizenry, why didn't he flood the French Quarter, but instead the neighbourhoods of the very people He recruits most among in America?

The politics test

You are a Social Liberal (73% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (31% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Hmmm, thought I would rate a little bit more libertarian than the result - certainly more libertine! Also, the test designer's graphic explanation of the place of anarchists is completely wrong - they're not the epitome of capitalist social permissiveness at all, if I remember well from Politics 101.

Tommeke! Tommeke! Tommeke!

Belgian TV resident jock sniffing commentators went all lyrical when Belgium's latest tax exile in Monaco, Tom Boonen, won the World Championship road cycling on Sunday.
In the post-competition interview he said the reality of the enormity hadn't sunk in until he was 5 minutes into his shower (the enormity of anything dawns on me 5 minutes into my showers too).
But the best piece was the T-shirt he was wearing on primetime TV:


My kind of boy!

Foreplay in the news

News item:

Construction workers at a central Napier building site have been read the riot act after two complaints involving "unacceptable behaviour" towards women walking by.
Herbert Construction issued a notice advising workers to "button it" or risk being "evicted from the site for good".
The company's notices states: "Sexual harassment of passers-by will not be tolerated", and goes on to declare that anyone on-site caught wolf-whistling or making obscene comments would be removed permanently.

Primness rules again. I - and, I suspect, plenty of women - regard it as a great compliment when some hunk dangling from a scaffold whistles or shouts obscenities at me. At my age I appreciate all the small mercies from strangers I can get.

NZ weather kills 100,000 lambs

A late burst of Winter weather brought the familiar images of newborn lambs in the high country and mountains being frozen to death. This is an annual event and it always suprises me it doesn't cause any outrage. Farmers being the backbone of the country (or so they want to believe) basically think they can get away with anything, Dominionism seems to be their main ideology - apart from voting National and generally making a mockery of New Zealand's clean, green image. There were luckily quite a few farmers that had heeded the bad weather warning and brought down their flocks to shelter, saying each lamb was worth $100. So this morning's radio report that 100,000 lambs have died does not make any economic sense to me - it's a $10 million loss. Or maybe farmers are rolling in it they can afford to write this off instead of needing to display good animal husbandry.

Contrast this to the fruit and grape growers, who chartered a fleet of helicopters to hover above the vineyards to keep the air circulating and prevent frostbite on the vines. This must have cost a bomb to do.
Since I am a fully paid-up member of the SPCQ (the Society for the Protection of Chardonnay Quaffers) I applaud them! If only the SPCA could prosecute farmers.

Green MP to run naked through ACT MP's electorate

Green MP Keith Locke had said in the election campaign he would run naked through a stretch of Epsom if Rodney Hide won the electorate.
On some Tory blog's comment section this is a cue for speculating about personal hygiene of and body hair on greenies. Conservative voters, especially in urban areas (but we know now they really all live in the provinces) claim they wax and mousse and brazilianise within an inch of their life - I can well believe Bob Clarkson's testicles are smooth after all that attention. They may have a point: it's the reason why "straight" men in Auckland look like faggots while card-carrying members of the cocksucking order all look like real men these days - unshaved, uncouth and uncut.
I must be such a bad homosexual for never having had a wax or a Brazilian. Oh wait, there was that one time with Jorge in a dark corner of Lateshift one sultry summer night in 1998.

UPDATE: the promise was kept last weekend (see picture)

Jack

Recommended reading in case you have had enough of all the political elections, a new edition of gay Kiwi photo magazine "Jack" is out. It's free from gay venues and the current theme is rugby.
It features an interesting historical reading of rugby in New Zealand in all its hidden but glorious homo undertones. Written by David Herkt, who did that TV series on drugs in New Zealand, but I'm doubtful he'll be able to make a show on rugby and faggotry - perhaps his Jack article was to pitch a TV script.
The magazine also features - less successfully - rugby apparel as street fashion wear, and a series of elaborate personal advertorials - complete with email addresses, so no fumbling with SAEs.
Some of the questions they asked of the contributors were interesting: If you were stuck on a desert island with Daniel Carter, which three things would you like to bring along? My answer: Frederic Michalak, Christian Cullen and Tom Boonen. (and Ben Cohen as a stand-in for the stunt scenes)

Political billboard

NZ election night

Almost midnight and the results of the election are close: Labour 50, National 49, NZ First 7, Green 6, Maori 4, United Future 3, ACT 2, Progressive 1. A rainbow coloured parliament, as it should be.

Nessie will have something to ogle

British naturists are doing a charity swim in Loch Ness in Scotland to raise funds for cancer research. The water is freezing, of course, so no rude jokes. There may be some sightings of Nessie though, but it'll be as usual optical illusions.

NZ election campaign

Gosh, apparently you're not allowed to mention the election on blogs (or in any other media) on election day. So you need to get your endorsement in early because, it seems, you may be unduly influencing people's voting intentions if they peruse your blog on election day. Never mind that I doubt any of the Kiwi pundits has changed one mind during the whole campaign, here's what I'm going to do:

I'm voting Green on the party list and Green in the electorate vote.

So there, democratic duty fulfilled for the next three years. I would pretty much prefer the current political configuration to continue, i.e. Labour minority government with floating majorities depending on the issue, and confidence and supply from various smaller parties.
Seeing politicians sweat about their future is great viewing so I'll probably watch the box on the night.

A sight best unseen in public

An ACT Party supporter turned up at a Labour election rally at Victoria University dressed only in a fake moustache and underpants. Or as Stuff put it:

"Wearing nothing but a G-string, a pair of jandals, a porn star moustache and sunglasses, Undies Man burst on to the political stage to save the world from the excesses of Labour. [Prime Minister Helen Clark] was clearly not impressed. "There's somebody running around with no clothes on. It's a terrible disappointment . . . pass the magnifying glass," she bellowed."

You go, Helen! At least at rugby matches real streakers turn up and are a lot more fun too. And "porn star moustache"? Please, Stuff, what vintage porn are you guys watching?

That good ol'factory

I reckon that smells are underrated. I have a reasonably sensitive and developed sense of smell and I'm constantly reminded of the wafts in the environment coming my way. In sex, I think it's incredibly important to be able to smell your partner(s). There are quite a good number of excellent aftershaves that smell 'manly' but you can't pass up a good rutty smell on a man.
The other day, one of my workmates was complaining that a carpenter who was doing some work produced this "labourer stink". I had noticed it too but in my book it was intoxicating rather than repulsive. He was about 17 with a slightly black haired chest (he was Polynesian), wearing a singlet, board shorts and dusty workboots your tongue would never do justice to. He also had the bushiest armpits I have ever seen, which was quite incredible and no wonder the waft they produced just permeated the atmosphere. Straight guys and gay guys react differently to smells. As the New York Times reported:

Using a brain imaging technique, Swedish researchers have shown that homosexual and heterosexual men respond differently to two odors that may be involved in sexual arousal, and that the gay men respond in the same way as women.

So gay men rate your sexual attractiveness by the stink of your armpit (as do women, apparently, but I don't want to speak for them). But before any of you straight guys think you have a more civilised way of subconsciously, olfactorily selecting a mate, National Geographic reports:

The scientists exposed heterosexual men and women and homosexual men to chemicals found in male and female sex hormones. One chemical is a testosterone derivative produced in men's sweat. The other chemical is an estrogen-like compound in women's urine. These chemicals have long been suspected of being pheromones, molecules emitted by one individual that evoke some behavior in another of the same species. Pheromones trigger basic responses, such as sexual attraction.

Seems hanging out around the Ladies is as good a scoring place as any if you are heterosexual.
Meanwhile back to the armpits. A cycle courier just turned up... must go attend him.

Left testicle? Right testicle?

The choice is difficult this year.

Mark Simpson, the hopeless romantic

Independent on Sunday columnist, author and cursed inventor of the term "metrosexual" reviewed a book called Queer London: Perils and Pleasures in the Sexual Metropolis 1918-1957 by Matt Houlbrook.
A lament for the lost world of gentlemen pursuers of rough trade in the peasoup days of London. That wonderful "frolicking with panthers" (a la Wilde) came to an end, apparently, when not only decimalisation decimated the trade, but also easier access to girls (it was the 60s after all) and economic prosperity made that sexually frustrating period between ball drop and more easily available premarital hetero sex much shorter. These days the only sexually frustrated boys in the world are muslims who prefer to blow themselves up to get at the virgins rather than go the more fun route of pleasuring themselves and other tourists a la Orton and Burroughs in Tangiers.
Chasing a soldier, guardsman, sailor or other docklands rough trade sure sounded like a lot of fun. As I have noted before, there is no mention of this at the Museum of Docklands. From my own experience dressing up meticulously as rough trade - be it my infamous nazi-boy episode on Hampstead Heath, or buying and customising an original Royal New Zealand Navy #1 dress uniform second hand and white flat canvas hat from an antiques shop - you do have extraordinary sexual success. Dressing up for sex is always fun in my opinion - and more romantic.

Whale watching

Ewen sped out to Palm Beach yesterday afternoon because of the news a rare right whale had been spotted offshore. First there were rumours it was in some difficulty and in danger of beaching itself, but it did seem quite happy to cause some commotion and then take off again. I just can't understand why you'd want to eat it, but then I think the same about cows and lambs and chooks.

Elections in the civilised world

Japan, Germany, Norway and New Zealand are all having general elections around now. And it's nice to see how incredibly polite the campaigns are going, all sticking to policies without the personal insults and underhand tactics (Exclusive Brethren excepted) usually associated with louder campaigns in other, different countries, like we had to endure last year.
In Japan , the issues seem quite mundane, such as privatisation plans of the post office, but that is part of the policies to counteract the long, long no-growth era and deflation. Long term problems need long term solutions, not just electorally expedient band aids.
In Germany, voters have an unenviable choice of policy ahead of them: stick with reforms by the SPD/Greens or choose for redistribution towards the top with the CDU/CSU. Good to see battles on policies rather than personalities.
In Norway, the vote will be close with a minority conservative government trying to fend off a centre left coalition. The BBC reporter Humphrey Hawksley did an excellent report this morning on BBC Four News on what moves voters in this one of the richest (and with one of the most extensive welfare systems) countries in the world. Kindergartens and childcare, apparently, because despite all the social welfare and support, both parents are eager to go out working and to have their children minded.
In New Zealand, I am already so over this campaign and it's got another week to go. I am definitely not going to second-guess my fellow citizens and their voting behaviour despite the siren calls to vote "tactically" to keep such and such party out and such and such party in. I have never in my life voted Tory and I'm not about to start now. So far I have decided to vote for the Green Party. But I may still change my mind, just because I can.

Brown eye for the cop guy

News item:

"A cheeky exhibitionist made a bad call when he stood in the centre of the road, pulled down his pants and bent over - in front of a police car.
When he was caught, 19-year-old Queenstown scaffolder Quintin Brian Robson said, "I'm so stupid", prosecutor Sergeant Sue Evans told the Queenstown District Court yesterday.
Robson failed to appear on a disorderly behaviour charge.
Judge Peter Butler noted Robson had other convictions, convicted him and fined him $500, plus $130 court costs."

Scaffolders should drop their pants more in Queenstown. It would make for a better scenic view than the monstrous developments that are currently planned there.
And isn't his fine really way out of proportion? I mean, Marc "E" Ellis only got fined $300 for buying some illegal party drugs. What kind of message is that sending to all our would-be male strippers? The cops should have snapped his brown eye and posted it online for all of us taxpayers to see. That would have been far better justice. And maybe even got the scaffolder a career change out of it.

Are you glad to live in the greatest country in the whole goddamn world?

Are societies these days basically held together by fear and economic exploitation rather than by solidarity and a sense of belonging?
After you have escaped the flood in your SUV, do you still need to think about the society you have left behind to drown, starve or perish? Or did you play "Bye, Bye, Blackbird"?
How can you call yourself the "United" States when there is no unity, sense of purpose, a helping hand when you are waist deep in water?
Where "law and order" only means armed white national guards pointing at black men "shopping" for foodstuffs and water?
Is New Orleans basically the end of the line, the bottom of the dung heap, where the detritus of American society and the dregs of the Mississippi converge beneath sea level?
And therefore the city's immobile do not matter one jot as long as they are being kept coralled between the levees and Lake Pointchartrain? Between the French Quarter and Desire? Out of sight, out of mind, at the bottom of the sea.
When even porn stars rant and rave against this insane situation, you should be warned that your society is not all what it is cracked up to be, and in grave danger.
Some Christians are right to call for repentance: atomised societies are an oxymoron and only have a very short half life.