May 31, 2006
Metro MP
From soap star to almoist anointed (and certainly moisturised) Conservative Member of Parliament, Adam Rickitt, of six-pack fame and an unwillingness to put out for one of the better looking (and first gay) characters on Corrie Street, gets the satirical makeover by YouTube contributors and a swooning treatment from Metrodaddy as he makes over the British Tory Party (for free!).
I don't think I'd vote for him - blondes don't do it for me.
May 30, 2006
Out Takes poster causes drooling
The annual Reel Queer Film Festival is taking place at the moment and they have been promoting it extensively with posters on bus shelters around town. It may not be very visible here on-line, but the gist is: boy on left holds ice cream and boyfriend on right has white drool dripping from his chin. All very double/triple/rainbow entendre in the contemporary queer way: you could interpret the image according to your favourite perversion. How inclusive is that! And on bus shelters! Around town!But not so according to queer trend critic Philip Patston (who is a stand-up comedian in his spare time, even while sitting in his wheelchair) in a guest column on gaynz.com:
The boy's "cummy" chin is just tacky and juvenile, not to mention sexist - I can't see any muff fluff on the girls' chins. But worse, the image could be construed as sexual harassment. Anyone confronted by that image in a public place could legitimately complain that they are being harassed.All very precious and prissy, if you ask me.
An ice cream is sometimes just that, an ice cream. (Thank you, Prof. Freud)
In a vaguely related issue, the Reel Queer organisers scored a spectacular own goal. They offered an incentive prize of a mini-holiday in Fiji for festival attendees. Since gay nookie is a no-no in Fiji (men have been arrested and jailed for gay sex there while on holiday), just as it is in most Pacific islands, except New Zealand, and people with HIV are very unwelcome there (Bruce Kilmister of the HIV support group Body Positive was well pissed off), one has to wonder why this kind of prize is being offered to its main target audience. Perhaps they wanted to attract a few straight couples to their film offerings with the prize?
Then, not to be outdone by Reel Queer, another sponsor of the film festival, the NZ Aids Foundation found itself in hot water too over a prize it offered viewers of a trip to Hawaii despite the USA having a restrictive access policy for HIV+ people. What a mess! And they wonder why people are ignoring their messages.
Policy wonking
There are another 30 months to go before the next election in New Zealand (barring coalition collapses) so poll data may not be all that relevant in people's minds - one tends to concentrate on matters political when an election approaches: see the fevered frenzy in the NZ blogosphere before last September and the boring backbiting doldrums afterwards.
There is a bill before parliament to reduce the number of MPs to 100, from the current 120, but preserving the Maori seats and the number of electorate seats. The cut would come in the list seats. This is, of course, a salami tactic to get rid of the proportionality as much as possible - the Bill is from a conservative member who longs back to the days that rural New Zealand held sway in elections and could bugger any minority it didn't like.
I have long been a proponent of moving completely the other way and getting rid of both the Maori seats and the general electorate seats, and creating a 120 list MP parliament (with a 1/120 vote threshold) where you vote for a party based on its policies rather than personalities who happen to reside in your electorate.
So how would a NZ parliament look like based on the current poll numbers?
National 47% - 56 seats
Labour 38% - 46 seats
Green 5% - 6 seats
NZ First 4% - 5 seats
Maori 3% - 4 seats
United Future 1.4% - 2 seats
Act 1.1% - 1 seat
A National/Maori/ACT coalition would be a possible Government, or even National/NZF. But the main difference with the current system would be:
- more Maori MPs in parliament because it will make other parties worth their while to target all groups in society because of their equal weight in the total electoral scheme, i.e. National may find it worthwhile fielding Maori candidates on its list in electable positions and get rid of the current dead wood in the Deep North, where Tory MPs have been holding sway for generations since their main opposition is siphoning off to the Maori roll and the opposition vote split between Maori and general electorates.
- an emphasis on party policy proposals rather than (party leader) personality politics: Act and UF should stand or fall on their national appeal rather than the whims of a local electorate that see their member as bringing home the pork and distorting the proportionality of parliament (and have undue influence on Government formation)
There is a bill before parliament to reduce the number of MPs to 100, from the current 120, but preserving the Maori seats and the number of electorate seats. The cut would come in the list seats. This is, of course, a salami tactic to get rid of the proportionality as much as possible - the Bill is from a conservative member who longs back to the days that rural New Zealand held sway in elections and could bugger any minority it didn't like.
I have long been a proponent of moving completely the other way and getting rid of both the Maori seats and the general electorate seats, and creating a 120 list MP parliament (with a 1/120 vote threshold) where you vote for a party based on its policies rather than personalities who happen to reside in your electorate.
So how would a NZ parliament look like based on the current poll numbers?
National 47% - 56 seats
Labour 38% - 46 seats
Green 5% - 6 seats
NZ First 4% - 5 seats
Maori 3% - 4 seats
United Future 1.4% - 2 seats
Act 1.1% - 1 seat
A National/Maori/ACT coalition would be a possible Government, or even National/NZF. But the main difference with the current system would be:
- more Maori MPs in parliament because it will make other parties worth their while to target all groups in society because of their equal weight in the total electoral scheme, i.e. National may find it worthwhile fielding Maori candidates on its list in electable positions and get rid of the current dead wood in the Deep North, where Tory MPs have been holding sway for generations since their main opposition is siphoning off to the Maori roll and the opposition vote split between Maori and general electorates.
- an emphasis on party policy proposals rather than (party leader) personality politics: Act and UF should stand or fall on their national appeal rather than the whims of a local electorate that see their member as bringing home the pork and distorting the proportionality of parliament (and have undue influence on Government formation)
May 26, 2006
Something for the weekend
Well, he thankfully isn't in hospital at the moment but winning stages in the Tour of Belgium cycling race. But surely you would also volunteer to lick him better.
The gay rugby world cup
An international tournament for gay rugby teams is underway this weekend in New York to win the Bingham Cup, named after a gay rugby player who died in the 9/11 plane crash in Pennsylvania.
There aren't any New Zealand teams in the competition this year. I don't really know why because there are supposed to be two gay rugby teams in New Zealand: the Wellington Krazy Knights and the Auckland Heroes, so Australasian pride will have to be carried by the Sydney Convicts.
UPDATE: The Sydney Convicts won the cup. Congratulations, boys!
There aren't any New Zealand teams in the competition this year. I don't really know why because there are supposed to be two gay rugby teams in New Zealand: the Wellington Krazy Knights and the Auckland Heroes, so Australasian pride will have to be carried by the Sydney Convicts.
UPDATE: The Sydney Convicts won the cup. Congratulations, boys!
May 25, 2006
May 24, 2006
Balancing Act
I don't want to blog often about work-related stuff, but yesterday I attended a whole day seminar organised by the Broadcast Standards Authority on the isssue of "balance" in news/current affairs broadcasting.
Not the most riveting of topics, especially since the proliferation of broadcast and other media outlets have reduced the perceived need for balance in reporting (however defined) on the same programme, series or channel because you will find alternatives elsewhere easily and quickly. The balance (or, in older form, objectivity) format is now a marketing tool (Fox TV's "fair and balanced" - yeah right) and an ambition to set yourself apart from the rest of the pack (as the BBC tries to do).
All very esoteric for non-broadcasters, of course, and the Chatham House rule prevents me from telling you who breached several court suppression orders, or who would be quite willing to turn the lights off at the BSA, or who is proposing to replace the whole outdated BSA complaints procedure with a media ombudsman, but it was interesting to hear that BSA research found that audiences are far more interested in the fair treatment and accuracy of the story than hearing about opposing views to the story.
At the end of the day, the BSA launched its latest research publication "Freedom & Fetters" this being their periodic look into New Zealand attitudes towards broadcasting standards. It's usually a book the media look at for the updated list of words deemed unsuitable for broadcast and what changes there have been (apparently the F-word is far more tolerated now, but the various C-words are still a no-no). You'll have to buy or borrow the book to get the list.
I skimmed through to see whether any of my programming fuck ups were listed (we had two complaints upheld against us in the last 3 years, one for a show being too anti-gay and one for a film being too gay).
Balanced? I think so!
Not the most riveting of topics, especially since the proliferation of broadcast and other media outlets have reduced the perceived need for balance in reporting (however defined) on the same programme, series or channel because you will find alternatives elsewhere easily and quickly. The balance (or, in older form, objectivity) format is now a marketing tool (Fox TV's "fair and balanced" - yeah right) and an ambition to set yourself apart from the rest of the pack (as the BBC tries to do).
All very esoteric for non-broadcasters, of course, and the Chatham House rule prevents me from telling you who breached several court suppression orders, or who would be quite willing to turn the lights off at the BSA, or who is proposing to replace the whole outdated BSA complaints procedure with a media ombudsman, but it was interesting to hear that BSA research found that audiences are far more interested in the fair treatment and accuracy of the story than hearing about opposing views to the story.
At the end of the day, the BSA launched its latest research publication "Freedom & Fetters" this being their periodic look into New Zealand attitudes towards broadcasting standards. It's usually a book the media look at for the updated list of words deemed unsuitable for broadcast and what changes there have been (apparently the F-word is far more tolerated now, but the various C-words are still a no-no). You'll have to buy or borrow the book to get the list.
I skimmed through to see whether any of my programming fuck ups were listed (we had two complaints upheld against us in the last 3 years, one for a show being too anti-gay and one for a film being too gay).
Balanced? I think so!
May 19, 2006
Sex in the news
Police are urging west Auckland residents to be particularly vigilant in response to reports of a near-naked man trying to entice young female students into his car.Hmmm, 30 year old man with red hair and blue eyes wearing black singlet riding bareassed in his car. Now why couldn't I meet guys like that when I was young?
Blockhouse Bay community constable Vaughn Perry says it appears the man, wearing nothing but a black vest, parks his car a short distance from where students are crossing the road on their way to school.
"Just as they're about to cross he pulls up really close to the kerb and tries to get them into his car," Mr Perry says.
The man is believed to be a 30 to 35-year-old New Zealand European of medium build. He is clean shaven and has short red hair and blue eyes.
He drives a white, four-door sedan, possibly a Honda Accord or Toyota Corolla.
The latest reported incident occurred at about 8.20am on May 10 on Kay Rd, Blockhouse Bay.
Mr Perry urges any child approached by the man to seek out a teacher or trusted adult and report the incident to police immediately.
Driving bareassed is a thrill, more people should do it. Just don't suck off the driver when the car is moving. It may lead to deadly accidents.
Militia members audition for Palestinian version of ActiveDuty.com
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May 18, 2006
The scarf that was too gay
The New Zealand police recruiters are moonlighting as fashion experts when they told a prospective copper the scarf he was wearing was "too gay".Obviously there are fashion crimes that need tackling hard by our boys in blue, but you can judge for yourself whether the scarf earned the epithet.
The best comment I heard on the issue was the appropriate reply to the policeman's remark: "That's a bit rich coming from someone who dresses as a member of the Village People."
Not a good week for the Low Countries
First up was the truly atrocious double murder of a Malian woman and a Belgian child in her care, and the murder attempt on a Turkish woman in Antwerpen, all carried out by a family member of an elected member of the Vlaams Belang (the xenophobic party in Flanders).
What amazed me too was the ease with which the just-turned-18 dickhead could walk into a gun shop and buy a rifle to commit the murders with soon after. I thought this was only possible in the redder states of the Union. But apparently not. My punishment would be, as always in murder cases, to offer the culprit a way out of a life to be spent in gaol: put a bullet into your own head if you wish to save a smidgen of your dignity.
Then in the Netherlands, another unedifying spectacle of political assassination. This time of a rather (in)famous VVD party MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali. In the middle of a battle for the party leadership, she was accused by Immigration Minister Rita Verdonk, who is one of the VVD leadership contenders, of lying when she applied for Dutch asylum and citizenship in the early 1990s. Ms Hirsi Ali is a controversial politician, who is very critical of Islam and has called for a reform of that faith along Reformation/Enlightenment lines. The treatment of women in Islam is a bug bear for her and she co-wrote the film "Submission" together with director Theo Van Gogh, who was murdered in 2004 for his effort. She has been under constant police protection and living in safe houses to protect her life ever since. The VVD party now thinks she is a liability and seems to be quite happy with getting rid of her. She had been planning to move to the USA months ago, so it's astonishing the internal party power games have caused her to lose her Dutch nationality and have damaged the image of the Netherlands abroad.
Voltaire and Erasmus are spinning in their graves, indeed.
What amazed me too was the ease with which the just-turned-18 dickhead could walk into a gun shop and buy a rifle to commit the murders with soon after. I thought this was only possible in the redder states of the Union. But apparently not. My punishment would be, as always in murder cases, to offer the culprit a way out of a life to be spent in gaol: put a bullet into your own head if you wish to save a smidgen of your dignity.
Then in the Netherlands, another unedifying spectacle of political assassination. This time of a rather (in)famous VVD party MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali. In the middle of a battle for the party leadership, she was accused by Immigration Minister Rita Verdonk, who is one of the VVD leadership contenders, of lying when she applied for Dutch asylum and citizenship in the early 1990s. Ms Hirsi Ali is a controversial politician, who is very critical of Islam and has called for a reform of that faith along Reformation/Enlightenment lines. The treatment of women in Islam is a bug bear for her and she co-wrote the film "Submission" together with director Theo Van Gogh, who was murdered in 2004 for his effort. She has been under constant police protection and living in safe houses to protect her life ever since. The VVD party now thinks she is a liability and seems to be quite happy with getting rid of her. She had been planning to move to the USA months ago, so it's astonishing the internal party power games have caused her to lose her Dutch nationality and have damaged the image of the Netherlands abroad.
Voltaire and Erasmus are spinning in their graves, indeed.
Sex in the news
The ringleader of a group of 82nd Airborne Division soldiers charged with having sex for money on a military-themed gay pornography Web site was sentenced Tuesday to three months in a military prison.It certainly gives an extra dimension to the expression "gay for pay".
The judge, Col. Grant S. Jaquith, sentenced Mitten to 100 days in jail, but his plea bargain capped the jail term at three months. Under military court rules, the accused gets the lesser of the two sentences.
Mitten, 21, also was demoted to private, will lose two-thirds of his pay and will receive a bad conduct discharge as part of a plea bargain.
Two other soldiers previously pleaded guilty in connection to the Web site.
Pfc. Richard Ashley pleaded guilty in April to sodomy, conduct detrimental to the Army and using an unauthorized prescription drug. He was sentenced to 75 days in prison.
Pvt. Kagen B. Mullen, 21, pleaded guilty earlier this month to conduct detrimental to the Army and to using marijuana. He was sentenced to 90 days in prison.
Mitten told the court that he was contacted by the Web site’s producer, Dennis Ashe, through the Internet in August.
Mitten said he met with Ashe the day after he was contacted. The producer asked him to pose for nude pictures and offered to pay him $2,000 to perform in a gay pornography video.
Mitten, performing under the name "Donnie", and another paratrooper met at Ashe’s house the following day and filmed a pornography video.
He testified that Ashe set up a camera controlled by a computer from another room and filmed the paratroopers having sex.
He made a second video with another paratrooper a few months later.
Mitten told the judge that he made $6,000 from August to November.
Before accepting the plea, the judge asked Mitten why he did it.
"It was for the money, your honor," Mitten told him.
Pay they certainly now do, and I hope ActiveDuty.com and its subscribers have the honour to support the soldiers' families through their financial ordeal.
May 17, 2006
Men in Pants
Our favourite English rugby player, Ben Cohen, and former footballer Jason Cundy, who is a testicular cancer survivor, appeared on a mid-morning chat show on ITV to promote a charity, Orchid, involving itself with male cancers.There is nothing more important for boys and men to learn how to feel up, pat, stroke and get up close with their dicks and balls. And each others'.
More gorgeous snaps on Towleroad.
May 16, 2006
The only reason to cross the Tasman Sea
Good to see the queer brothers and sisters across the ditch in Australia are mighty fed up with little Johnnie Howard's government's 19th century attitudes towards buggers getting hitched. They have set up a Gay & Lesbian Kingdom as a micro-state in the Coral Sea, complete with sovereign and postage stamps, to act as a refugee place from the mainland.If only New Zealand was 10 degrees further north in latitude we could have served for that purpose, since everybody knows queens prefer warmer climes. But the hardier ones have made it over here, and most welcome they are too.
Love life, stop Aids
The Swiss anti-Aids organisation released a rather delicious new media campaign. More details here.I love my sports played in the ancient Greek way. Imagine what ratings they would get these days!
Link via OhLaLa Paris
16 May
It's my dad's 74th birthday today. He's boating somewhere along the Belgian and French canals until September, as he does almost every year for the Summer. Europeans certainly know how to spend their retirement in fantastic surroundings.
May 13, 2006
Weekend laugh
I just find all those Brokeback Mountain cultural references a hoot, even though I haven't seen the film and have no plans to.
There's "Brokeback Bitch" to call your cheating, lying boyfriend; there's "Brokeback on Ice" on YouTube. Or a funny Italian cartoon. And now a hilarious review of "Bareback Mountain". I don't care if the actual video doesn't exist, it just cries out for production soon. Oh, and I loved the reference to "Shaving Ryan's Private Parts" too.
There's "Brokeback Bitch" to call your cheating, lying boyfriend; there's "Brokeback on Ice" on YouTube. Or a funny Italian cartoon. And now a hilarious review of "Bareback Mountain". I don't care if the actual video doesn't exist, it just cries out for production soon. Oh, and I loved the reference to "Shaving Ryan's Private Parts" too.
May 12, 2006
Good news from Hawaii
(via Queerty and AP) 
We were watching "Dog, The Bounty Hunter" the other night, a reality trash show set on Hawaii, where Dog and his whole whanau goes hunting for escapees and fugitives from the law.
I don't know why every family member has to conform to the standard trailer trash stereotype: bleached mother with DDD cups, dad with bleached mullet halfway down his back and snotty kids with attitude. But the eldest son, Leland (pictured left), is 100 percent trailer trash spunk and I wouldn't mind being apprehended by him if I was ever to transgress Hawaiian law.
The state will pay $625,000 and change policies at its only youth prison to settle a lawsuit over alleged abuse of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender inmates, according to a proposed settlement.
The lawsuit involves three inmates at the Hawaii Youth Correctional Facility who are lesbian, transgender and gay, the attorney general's office said.
They claimed they were physically and emotionally abused by guards because of their sexual orientation. They also said correctional officers didn't intervene when they were harassed by other youths in the prison.
We were watching "Dog, The Bounty Hunter" the other night, a reality trash show set on Hawaii, where Dog and his whole whanau goes hunting for escapees and fugitives from the law.I don't know why every family member has to conform to the standard trailer trash stereotype: bleached mother with DDD cups, dad with bleached mullet halfway down his back and snotty kids with attitude. But the eldest son, Leland (pictured left), is 100 percent trailer trash spunk and I wouldn't mind being apprehended by him if I was ever to transgress Hawaiian law.
May 11, 2006
Sex in the news
A freshly elected local councillor for the British National Party (think English bulldogs and "straight" skinheads), Mr Richard Barnbrook, has an interesting past. An English newspaper reports that as part of his education he was involved in making a film called "HMS Discovery: A Love Story". What with all the houha about our military finest getting up each other, you'd think a release of this cinematic piece would be in order to fill party coffers.
But no, Mr Barnbrook has distanced himself from his past art work which, according to the Evening Standard, includes
But no, Mr Barnbrook has distanced himself from his past art work which, according to the Evening Standard, includes
long scenes of men undressing and fondling each other, full-frontal nudity and a naked man apparently performing a sex act on another. There are also repeated scenes of flagellation in which a group of semi-naked men apparently whip a fourth semi-naked man senseless to the ground.Sounds like a great piece of film art to me. Mr Barnbrook commented:
It was an art film - end of story. It was not a bloody porn film.I believe him. Porn is in the eye of the beholder, art is in his brain.
The Coalition of the Circumcised: ni pape, ni imam, ni rabbin
Some commentators, in an attempt to emulate their American neo-con counterparts, look aghast at Europe and it purported transformation into either a morass of moral nihilistic libertinism or a post-Christian "Eurabia" (which future frightens you more, lads? Thought so!) and never stop dreaming up schemes to turn the old continent back to its "Judeo-Christian roots" - or rather more "Christian" than "Judeo" actually but please don't mention pogrom or holocaust.
Oh those were the days when the Pope in Rome could decide who ruled in various parts of Christendom (and if he didn't agree, you did penitence, barefoot in the snow), when he could send legions of unruly and unemployed young men to their death in the Middle East desert, when his Inquisition enforcing Christian orthodoxy (a.k.a. Biblical political correctness) made Abu Ghraib SM games look like vanilla play.
But now his fief is shrinking year by year in Europe: the Reconquista in Spain was lost to the libertines after Franco died, the Low Countries dabbling in liberal drug laws, euthanasia and gay marriage, Ireland closing its Magdalen houses for fallen women, Italy not breeding as it used to. What is a good Catholic boy to do, scared of all that new freedom and desperate to hang on to his privileges (state-subsidised religious schools and priests), not to mention all those brown boys who want to screw his sister, and even him, for Allah? He does two things: he goes to Rome to welcome the new Pope, and moves to Poland because family, nation and church values are ruling there and is the last refuge from this money quote:
Compare Mr Weigel's rant to another faith-based enemy of the libertine West, Iranian president Ahmedinejad. In his letter (final paragraph) to US President Bush he wrote:
It's not the Jews who are the "canary in the mine" warning of social change for the worse, as Weigel claims, but gay people are: their legal treatment and social position in their societies are a far better indication of how civilised a country is. The rest is Jesuit, imam or rabbi sophistry.
Oh those were the days when the Pope in Rome could decide who ruled in various parts of Christendom (and if he didn't agree, you did penitence, barefoot in the snow), when he could send legions of unruly and unemployed young men to their death in the Middle East desert, when his Inquisition enforcing Christian orthodoxy (a.k.a. Biblical political correctness) made Abu Ghraib SM games look like vanilla play.
But now his fief is shrinking year by year in Europe: the Reconquista in Spain was lost to the libertines after Franco died, the Low Countries dabbling in liberal drug laws, euthanasia and gay marriage, Ireland closing its Magdalen houses for fallen women, Italy not breeding as it used to. What is a good Catholic boy to do, scared of all that new freedom and desperate to hang on to his privileges (state-subsidised religious schools and priests), not to mention all those brown boys who want to screw his sister, and even him, for Allah? He does two things: he goes to Rome to welcome the new Pope, and moves to Poland because family, nation and church values are ruling there and is the last refuge from this money quote:
Nihilism rooted in skepticism, issuing in the bad faith of moral relativism and Western self-loathing, comforting itself with a vacuous humanitarianism: not only is this not marvelous, it has contributed to killing Europe demographically, and to paralyzing Europe in the face of an aggressive ideology aimed at the eradication of Western humanism in the name of a lethally distorted understanding of God’s will.From that summary you would not know whether Mr Weigel, the author, was a Christian, a Jew or a Muslim, because those religions would all come to the same conclusion: world-based humanism and secularism in Europe is the enemy.
Compare Mr Weigel's rant to another faith-based enemy of the libertine West, Iranian president Ahmedinejad. In his letter (final paragraph) to US President Bush he wrote:
The people of many countries are angry about the attacks on their cultural foundations and the disintegration of families. They are equally dismayed with the fading of care and compassion. The people of the world have no faith in international organisations, because their rights are not advocated by these organisations.My question for you is: do you see any diference between any of those desert religions and their "end times" fight against secular humanism?
Liberalism and Western style democracy have not been able to help realize the ideals of humanity. Today these two concepts have failed. Those with insight can already hear the sounds of the shattering and fall of the ideology and thoughts of the liberal democratic systems.
We increasingly see that people around the world are flocking towards a main focal point – that is the Almighty God. Undoubtedly through faith in God and the teachings of the prophets, the people will conquer their problems. My question for you is: Do you not want to join them?
It's not the Jews who are the "canary in the mine" warning of social change for the worse, as Weigel claims, but gay people are: their legal treatment and social position in their societies are a far better indication of how civilised a country is. The rest is Jesuit, imam or rabbi sophistry.
May 09, 2006
Porn rules the world
An interesting article on MacWorld which argues that the future battle between rival formats in the next generation of high definition television, i.e. between Blu-Ray and HD-DVD, will be won by Blu-Ray, because that is the format backed the most by the porn industry.
Since pornographers are the most eager uptakers of new trends and technology (apparently even faster than your local alpha fag) they seem to have sorted out your future viewing technology already. From that it's obvious your new Playstation 3 is to also become your Porn Central.
Since pornographers are the most eager uptakers of new trends and technology (apparently even faster than your local alpha fag) they seem to have sorted out your future viewing technology already. From that it's obvious your new Playstation 3 is to also become your Porn Central.
Sport builds character
Meanwhile, Iran is banning metrosexuality from its footballers, i.e. no more make up and moussed hair. Somebody should tell some of our All Blacks who are fond of wearing eyeliner and bleach their hair tips. Hang them!
Pic via Aussielicious
Capitalist cow economics 101
Not a new but still an excellent summary of various countries' takes on capitalism (via The Whiskey Bar's comment box)
A TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty time the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.
A TEXAS CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
My entries:
A BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You make one learn Flemish and the other one French.
Together they produce the best chocolate milk in the world.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one to an overseas investor and you borrow money overseas using the other cow as collateral.
You use the cash to buy some land and build a big house.
You convert the pasture into vineyards or marijuana plantations.
You kill the cow, throw the steaks on the barbecue and have it with your own wine.
Sell the marijuana to pay off your debt on the never never.
A TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty time the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.
A TEXAS CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
My entries:
A BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You make one learn Flemish and the other one French.
Together they produce the best chocolate milk in the world.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one to an overseas investor and you borrow money overseas using the other cow as collateral.
You use the cash to buy some land and build a big house.
You convert the pasture into vineyards or marijuana plantations.
You kill the cow, throw the steaks on the barbecue and have it with your own wine.
Sell the marijuana to pay off your debt on the never never.
May 06, 2006
What is your perfect major?
You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing.
What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com |
Not exactly what turned out to be my major 30 years ago (first sociology, then development economics) and I think I would have sucked at journalism. I'm amazed I scored so low for Art, considering my BA Sociology thesis was about punk rock. But maybe the test reflects my current priorities decades after what I aspired to as a would-be student.
I also think that journalism shouldn't be taught as a major, only as a minor degree because journalists' first duty should be to master their subject and then hone their writing craft, not the other way round as is usually the case. Hence the shoddy journalism in much of the media. Blogging included.
May 05, 2006
When you face life in prison without parole
Shouldn't a more honourable way out offered in contrast to a life in a 3.5 x 2 metre cell? I mean, what difference is there with being on permanent but terminal life support? No visits, no mail, no phone, no sunshine. As a prisoner, like Massaoui, faced with that wouldn't you appreciate options?
I would offer anyone who was convicted to that kind of sentence an arsenic pill or one bullet gun so for the last time in their life they can make an informed choice. No pressure, no false hopes, just certainty whatever you choose. I think that would be quite humane: allow the falsely imprisoned to continue their fight, and the guilty to end their life with whatever honour they think they have left.
I would offer anyone who was convicted to that kind of sentence an arsenic pill or one bullet gun so for the last time in their life they can make an informed choice. No pressure, no false hopes, just certainty whatever you choose. I think that would be quite humane: allow the falsely imprisoned to continue their fight, and the guilty to end their life with whatever honour they think they have left.
May 03, 2006
What European city do I belong in?
| You Belong in Amsterdam |
 A little old fashioned, a little modern - you're the best of both worlds. And so is Amsterdam. Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist, Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city). |
Oh those memes. It's not too bad a choice as it's a great place to visit but I would never want to live in Amsterdam. Actually I have lived for 27 years within a reasonable train ride distance from Amsterdam. Highly recommended.
John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
When I was a green undergraduate sociology student, John Kenneth Galbraith's book "The New Industrial State" was required reading for the "Economics & Society" course. I don't know why it has always stayed with me, but it did spark an enduring interest in the broader issues involved in economic theory and economic history. I also think because Galbraith never used mathematics in his books to make points, it made it easier for me to understand and digest, at least it was for my non-math inclined mind. I also remember marvelling at the beautifully crafted language he used, and a touch of humour not often found in set text books.I would love to see the BBC series made on "The Age of Uncertainty", which screened in 1977, way before cable or satellite TV reached my shores from Britain. But I did buy the book and translated the main chunks for a radio series.
There is a marvellous obituary documentary piece by Paul Salmon of the PBS News Hour here. Galbraith's Wikipedia entry is here.
May 02, 2006
The best song ever
Economic cleansing
The island natives have become restive this year, what with the property revaluations and ferry fares increases.
On Sunday a group of pensioners organised a public meeting on the local rates issue. Our feudal overlord, Auckland City Council, is quite happy with extracting extra pounds of flesh from islanders, because the islanders have been frugal and industrious in doing up their hovels and have made the island so attractive that newcomers have been pushing up island property prices at a rate twice the average of the city.
The city sees this as a valid and legal excuse to tax islanders for a much higher amount because:
- we're all rich islanders, coastal property owners and multi-million dollar vineyard businesses who should be made to subsidise the lifestyle of mainland city dwellers;
- it wants to finance its commercial activities on the island (such as car parking fees) from rates money because the income from car parking charges doesn't cover costs. (This is due to a parking boycott by islanders who rightly resent being made to pay twice for what was previously free.)
- the mayor claims that for every $1 extracted from Waiheke, the Council spends $3 on the island.
The mayor says he's sympathetic with our plight, especially the elderly on fixed incomes who have been living on the island for generations and are now caught up in the property boom, causing their bach value to go from $10,000 to several hundreds of thousands, without even installing a walk-in shower.
But this sympathy is, of course, baloney.
The city is reluctant to give an exact breakdown of those cross-subsidy figures because they are all smoke and mirrors, as befits a local territorial authority exempt from any transparancy or accountability obligations.
What exactly does the city give islanders to warrant a rates bill of over $1,500 a year?
We get: free gas barbecues on the beach (also free for off-islanders); a library service (which is actually very good); street lighting (sparse because the locals like dark streets); foot path and road construction (at such glacial pace that they never keep up with newly emerging potholes).
All other Council services are "user pays", e.g. "commercial" (planning permission for anything you want to do on your property, rubbish collection over 52 bags per year, ferry car parking, ferry wharf use). The costs of these Council services are recovered, so, in theory, no rates money should be reserved for capital investment and the running of the Council's commercial activities - which means Matiatia's recent $12 million purchase should not be included in the "subsidy" the Council gives the island.
Not a squeak yet from our sole representative on the Council, Faye Storer. I guess she's too busy furthering her career on the mainland in other areas of Council policy, or travelling overseas to be much bothered - well, I guess it must be difficult to resist the greedy eyes of the other Councillors if you're in a minority of one.
The other attack on island life is from a private monopoly, the Fullers ferry service.
It raised its fares by about 15 to 20 percent this month, after a 10 percent rise last September. As the monopoly transport provider by default and unencumbred by public accountability (it refuses to accept subsidies because they would cramp its ability to provide a service they see fit rather than what passengers would like) it raises prices and lowers levels of service at will.
In its pamphlet to passengers, distributed a day before the price hikes, outlining their reasons it mentions diesel price increases and flat passenger demand over the past three years. This causes hollow laughter in anyone who has visited Waiheke over the recent holiday period and had to suffer overloaded boats and even being denied boarding on certain days.
No, the real reasons are:
- we charge more, because we can;
- we provide a cattle class service at first class prices, because we can;
- we set all conditions and levels of service at the lowest setting possible, because we can.
You can't fault a monopoly to gouge its customers, that's the name of the game, so good on them for having us on - any other company in the same position would do the same thing. But does it need to involve that amount of hypocrisy? Why not tell us to our face?
One of the main culprits in this deplorable situation is the Auckland Regional Transport Authority, which prides itself to be the policy setter for public transport in Auckland. It has consistently refused to intervene or play its proper role of ensuring a commercial level playing field to foster competition.
You can join a Maxx webforum discussion on this topic.
It all calls into question why Waiheke Island should remain a part of Auckland City or the Auckland region. Time for independence, methinks.
On Sunday a group of pensioners organised a public meeting on the local rates issue. Our feudal overlord, Auckland City Council, is quite happy with extracting extra pounds of flesh from islanders, because the islanders have been frugal and industrious in doing up their hovels and have made the island so attractive that newcomers have been pushing up island property prices at a rate twice the average of the city.
The city sees this as a valid and legal excuse to tax islanders for a much higher amount because:
- we're all rich islanders, coastal property owners and multi-million dollar vineyard businesses who should be made to subsidise the lifestyle of mainland city dwellers;
- it wants to finance its commercial activities on the island (such as car parking fees) from rates money because the income from car parking charges doesn't cover costs. (This is due to a parking boycott by islanders who rightly resent being made to pay twice for what was previously free.)
- the mayor claims that for every $1 extracted from Waiheke, the Council spends $3 on the island.
The mayor says he's sympathetic with our plight, especially the elderly on fixed incomes who have been living on the island for generations and are now caught up in the property boom, causing their bach value to go from $10,000 to several hundreds of thousands, without even installing a walk-in shower.
But this sympathy is, of course, baloney.
The city is reluctant to give an exact breakdown of those cross-subsidy figures because they are all smoke and mirrors, as befits a local territorial authority exempt from any transparancy or accountability obligations.
What exactly does the city give islanders to warrant a rates bill of over $1,500 a year?
We get: free gas barbecues on the beach (also free for off-islanders); a library service (which is actually very good); street lighting (sparse because the locals like dark streets); foot path and road construction (at such glacial pace that they never keep up with newly emerging potholes).
All other Council services are "user pays", e.g. "commercial" (planning permission for anything you want to do on your property, rubbish collection over 52 bags per year, ferry car parking, ferry wharf use). The costs of these Council services are recovered, so, in theory, no rates money should be reserved for capital investment and the running of the Council's commercial activities - which means Matiatia's recent $12 million purchase should not be included in the "subsidy" the Council gives the island.
Not a squeak yet from our sole representative on the Council, Faye Storer. I guess she's too busy furthering her career on the mainland in other areas of Council policy, or travelling overseas to be much bothered - well, I guess it must be difficult to resist the greedy eyes of the other Councillors if you're in a minority of one.
The other attack on island life is from a private monopoly, the Fullers ferry service.
It raised its fares by about 15 to 20 percent this month, after a 10 percent rise last September. As the monopoly transport provider by default and unencumbred by public accountability (it refuses to accept subsidies because they would cramp its ability to provide a service they see fit rather than what passengers would like) it raises prices and lowers levels of service at will.
In its pamphlet to passengers, distributed a day before the price hikes, outlining their reasons it mentions diesel price increases and flat passenger demand over the past three years. This causes hollow laughter in anyone who has visited Waiheke over the recent holiday period and had to suffer overloaded boats and even being denied boarding on certain days.
No, the real reasons are:
- we charge more, because we can;
- we provide a cattle class service at first class prices, because we can;
- we set all conditions and levels of service at the lowest setting possible, because we can.
You can't fault a monopoly to gouge its customers, that's the name of the game, so good on them for having us on - any other company in the same position would do the same thing. But does it need to involve that amount of hypocrisy? Why not tell us to our face?
One of the main culprits in this deplorable situation is the Auckland Regional Transport Authority, which prides itself to be the policy setter for public transport in Auckland. It has consistently refused to intervene or play its proper role of ensuring a commercial level playing field to foster competition.
You can join a Maxx webforum discussion on this topic.
It all calls into question why Waiheke Island should remain a part of Auckland City or the Auckland region. Time for independence, methinks.
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