Sex in the news

It's official now: English soccer players are straight.

"It emerged three Sunderland Football Club players filmed themselves “roasting” a busty female fan. Sunderland keeper Ben Alnwick, 19, winger Liam Lawrence, 24, and striker Chris Brown, 21, all took part in the orgy.
If you can't score on the pitch, do it in the bedroom."

I'm still a little unconvinced by all this. The lads seem to be more interested in each other's moves, including football-style commentary, than in the actual sex act. But it's certainly more interesting to watch than soccer matches!
Link to the video, which is totally unsafe for work, here.

Escape from Xmas gaol

I hope you have all recovered from the festive family fun. For us it was a mixture of family duty and catching up with the ever growing clan - not only in numbers but in body size too! The trip down south to Masterton and Martinborough was uneventful and smooth. Thankfully there were not many drivers on the roads. The peaks of Ruapehu looked magnificent in snowy splendour (Ruapehu is Mt Doom, for all you non-kiwi LOTR fans) and the Manawatu wind farm is rapidly becoming a tourist attraction: an example of good-looking public art.

Oh yes, we watched the Queen and the Flint Street Nativity, all good Xmas TV fare, but I got intrigued by a series of films and programmes I saw which were quite unplanned but somehow tied in with each other:
America's Hardest Prisons on National Geographic Channel was hardly Boxing Day breakfast fare but I persisted. The usual they're-all-bad-sad-or-mad, don't-they-look-awesome, why-are-they-allowed-all-that-gym time? kind of of "reality TV" look at life in a prison (but without a winner at the end). All tattoos, muscles and bad boy attitudes and a breathless female reporter (why are they always female?) casually remarking that 10 percent of inmates are raped. Not that anyone owned up on camera for that - neither tops or bottoms.
Which brings us to American History X, in which a splendid looking Edward Norton very much joined that rape statistic during his spell in gaol. Such a cute arse! It never stood a chance. But it did win an Oscar.
What intrigued me in that particular story line was how the rapist actually got hard enough to rape, even to the point of orgasm, in such a short time period of about 5 thrusts. Who volunteered to fluff him, we demand to know. And a note to the police department: when arresting a suspect dressed in boxer shorts, demand he drop them. The taxpayer wants value for money.

The prison warden in the documentary series said her charges got an "inmate look" about them when they have been incarcerated for a while. I think she meant the previously mentioned body size and adornments, which are pretty much the only things an inmate has some sort of control over and the only things he has to establish status among, power over and sexual repellence against other inmates.

And there we were on our last day of Christmas sojourning at our good friends Roger and Ross, who run a gay homostay in Napier. Go stay with them, the welcome is magnificent, the hospitality without rival and the entertainment, well, they function as an unofficial gay venue for the eastern North Island.
The DVD was playing one of their specialist offerings with lots of hairy, tattooed and leathered up men doing unspeakable things to each other. And yes, they all had very much the "inmate look", which made me wonder why America's hardest prisons could not be turned into queer heaven if only they got over their sexual hangups. The men in the DVD sure looked they were having a greater time than poor Ed or the sad sacks in the Indiana big house.

And a Mary Kiss-My-Ass to you all!

All I want for Christmas:

Move over Tommeke, a new star is definitely born. You are silenced deep into the night imagining he had been born 2000 years ago and competed in the "real" Olympics. I'm just so jealous of those classical Greeks!
Have a happy yuletide everyone.

Link via Oh La La Paris

They were talking about me

From the London Independent:

"It's official - vegetarians really are smarter. But it is not because of what they eat. Bright children are more likely to reject meat and opt to become vegetarians when they grow up, a study has shown."

Check. I stopped eating meat at age 18. Far too late, to my eternal shame, but better late than never to grow a brain.

"We veggies are good thinkers. We think about what we eat for a start."

Check. Do you put anything unthinkingly into your mouth?

"It is unclear whether bright children choose to become vegetarians for the health benefits or for other reasons, such as a concern for animals, or as a lifestyle choice."

Check. It's the economy, stupid. Cows eat 4 grain calories to return 1 meat calorie. Chickens only return 1 in 12. And how can you eat Babe? Or Bambi's mother? Or Thumper?

Robert Hutchison told the British Medical Association in 1930: "Vegetarianism is harmless enough though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness."

Well, fair enough. You try eating your beans and pulses without breaking into wind. Much better than red-meat related colon cancers, I'd say. Just watch that chip on my shoulder.

"As well as being brighter, the vegetarians were better educated and of higher social class but the link with intelligence remained statistically significant even after adjusting for these factors. Despite their intelligence they were not wealthier and more likely to be working for charities or in education. "It may be that ethical considerations determined not just their diet but also their choice of employment," the report said."

Check. Point well-made. Why are you still eating meat?

Get your hose out and start pumping

An American firefighter claimed $2.7 million in compensation because his firehouse mates played a prank on him by mixing dogfood in his spaghetti dinner. This being America and the fireman being black makes for an explosive mix of racism and envy - including dozens of dogfood cans being sent to his attorney and the city government who settled his claim without going to trial.
So far so hum.
What intrigued me far more in the story was:

"Pictures appeared of Pierce engaging in a series of fire station pranks - in one instance apparently helping shave the genital area of a firefighter bound to a gurney."

Forget about compensation, I'd gladly eat a dog's breakfast in return for the chance to shave a fireman's nuts while he's tied to the slippery pole. And I'd hose him down afterwards too as part of the service!

The prankster pictures are here. Looks like that firehouse is a lot of fun!