2:37

Adolescent Australian angst is usually the stuff of world famous and world popular soaps like Home & Away, whose characters manage to populate the screens for years night after night without becoming any clearer what they are about. So I was a little apprehensive whether a full length film would shed any better light on the hormonally murky world of high school students. I wasn't greatly disappointed with 2:37 last night on Rialto TV, even though most of the characters were like cardboard cut out cliches: the bed wetting weirdo, the geek with issues, and the jock with issues. And that's only a few of the boys. And there wasn't a happy girl in the whole school.
I must thank the Director of Photography for being so considerate and lingering on the beautiful torso of Sam Harris (the one in the centre of the picture). A truly magnificent adolescent specimen, unafraid to proudly show off his tiny nipples for more than half of his scenes. If only his character had the same courage regarding his sexual desires.
So, totty award, of course, to Sam Harris.

The Mo-vember Revolutionaries

Here in New Zealand, following Australia's example, the month of November has been declared Mo-vember, a month when guys grow a mo(ustache) to raise awareness on bloke health issues such as, in particular, prostate cancer.
I haven't had much facial hair in my past life, so I decided I'd do my bit and let it rip on my face.
At a Movember comparison party, wags told me I looked like Lenin. But judge for yourself from the pictures and let me know your comments. In my past lives I have been compared to looking like Howard Devoto and Michael Stipe.
We're supposed to shave it off on Saturday. I'm not sure whether I should keep it or not.

New Zealand men and their moustaches, a historical timeline here.

UPDATE: I've decided to keep a very short goatee, soft enough to scratch your sensitive bits (please, feel free to offer them to me any time)

Picture sequence shout out mo-tugging thank you to Peter McL. To the Finland Station!

Nude news

From the Community Police Report:

"On the 8th of November Police were contacted in relation to a middle aged male who was witnessed walking naked along a track which leads to the beach at Warrington, the man was apprehended by Police a short time later just south of Palmerston and was subsequently arrested. He could not provide an adequate explanation for his actions and the witness was disgusted by what she had observed. A 48 year old farmer from Kakanui Valley will be appearing at the Dunedin District Court in December in relation to this."

The trouble with community policing is that their reports are never detailed enough. There were no specifics on what was actually seen, nor any proof offered why the sight of a naked farmer doing his morning walk to the beach would be "disgusting". And why is finding something disgusting these days reason enough to be able to call the police to make an arrest?
I thought it rather brave of the man to bare all in a climate like Dunedin's where it's more customary to wrap up warm against the lashing southerlies. Since he didn't know why he went walkies in the buff, one can only presume he's done it many times before and thought nothing of it. It was just his bad luck to walk into the local Presbyterian frump, who should have treated it as an education instead of an affront.

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200,000 visitors to this blog as of today. Hope you found what you were looking for. If not, look, as Bono was advised by Boy George many years ago, behind the drum kit.

"When you're crap, you go to America" (*)

In another display of cutting edge current affairs television we get served up every night here on state broadcaster TVNZ, we were treated to the sight of Mark Sainsbury, an improbably facially hirsute host (every month is Mo-vember for our Mark), sitting in Australia for what I thought would be an insightful analysis of the Australian elections and its outcome's ramifications for New Zealand. Of course it was never thus when the camera swung to his interview subject: David Beckham.
Becks had flown in for an exhibition match in Sydney and later on in Wellington, and since the Beckham brand generates more cash than the trans-Tasman economic relationship I guess it wasn't entirely surprising.
I must say Becks is aging rather well. Far better than either Mrs Becks or Mr Sainsbury. So the item wasn't entirely without merit for all those fretting aging metrosexuals out there in Australia and New Zealand.

(*) Quote from a football fan (mentioned by Mark Simpson)

And here's a bonus picture from the Sydney Morning Herald:

On your knees!

Christians in the United States love living in a parallel universe, where there is only evil outside its borders, where science is God-approved and based on Biblical statements, where the dollar isn't falling (because all other currencies are funny money anyway), where migrants aren't a source of economic growth but a menace to national identity, and where Conservapedia is the approved educational resource for homeschoolers and gun owners, far superior to that Satanic tool masquerading as Wikipedia.

But what do Christianists (as the American version of Islamists/Jihadists are called) actually look up in their favourite online resource guide?

Conservapedia Most viewed pages: (link via Andrew Sullivan)

1. Main Page‎ [1,914,762]
2. Homosexuality‎ [1,585,363]
3. Homosexuality and Hepatitis‎ [517,474]
4. Homosexuality and Promiscuity‎ [421,226]
5. Gay Bowel Syndrome‎ [395,230]
6. Homosexuality and Parasites‎ [388,621]
7. Homosexual Couples and Domestic Violence‎ [373,303]
8. Homosexuality and Gonorrhea‎ [331,719]
9. Homosexuality and Mental Health‎ [292,779]
10. Homosexual Agenda‎ [270,824]

Surprising? Or perhaps unsurprising. Ever have that feeling too they are a tad obsessed with us?
I recommend your read the "Homosexuality" section. Muddled, badly edited, selective quotes from sources of more or less dubious value, cobbled together into a piece of nonsense, for sure, but not entirely without humour: I didn't know there was no homosexuality in rural areas. Haven't they noticed any lesbian and gay farmers? And their funny spelling of "cigarrete". And their hypocritical dumping of Mr Foley from their club after such excellent service to their anti-gay legislative cause. But I just wonder how those home schoolers can use anything from there for their homework assignments (is that what it's called, or is homework for a home schooler an oxymoron?)
Not to mention the outright misinformation and lies about issues such as AIDS. They really should add a section on "heterosexuality" with an item on how the majority of AIDS cases in the world are heterosexually transmitted.
Drudging through it all, at the end you feel like you're covered in ectoplasm (defined as "spiritual bukkake").

Oh, and don't forget to read Jesus' General's marvellous letter to the Conservapedia big cheese.

The blog readability test

You don't have to be a brain box but it helps.
P.s. Updated the rating from Undergraduate level.

And while we're at it...

Again this week a major Fullers ferry has been taken out of service for some unknown reason: passengers don't need to know why or how long, we just need to keep stumping up, keep our mouths shut and be grateful there is a ferry service at all, what with Infratil being kept busy with chasing Auckland Airport directorships.

So we now have endure rides on that crowd favourite, the Vomit Comet, sorry, Jet Raider. Not that it would matter much if only they could get rid of the diesel fumes above and the toilet stink below the waterline. But the constant lateness of the damn thing is what riles most passengers.
Fullers has been posting notices around patronizingly warning passengers that their ferry won't wait for them at departure. Unfortunately there is no same guarantee offered it will ever arrive on scheduled time and the Jet Raider is always 15 to 25 minutes late.
In the UK, public transport operators get fined or their licence withdrawn if their services are habitually late. Why can't we have a similar system here? It would certainly them where it hurts and make haste of regular maintenance and upgrades.

Cross-posted from Maxx.

Auckland Airport rail link support

If you have ever been to Auckland you have certainly noticed how appalling the public transport system is in this town. If you have not, check my laments on the subject. It certainly is a major factor why I would rank Auckland lowly as a favourite city to live - please disregard surveys like this one because their information is aimed at expat workers who don't ever need to use public transport because they earn expat salaries.
For all other people, there is at the moment simply no rapid transit system anywhere in this city:
Buses have to share the road space with increasing traffic resulting in major delays and slow progress. Even bus lanes are haphazardly strewn around, mainly in the wrong places instead of on the major bus routes downtown.
Trains are of the toy town variety and belch their way through a few suburbs often on single tracks. Yes, diesel too. The Auckland Wellington railway has not been electrified even though electricity has been invented over a century ago.
There is no underground, trams or trolley buses.
Hell, there isn't even a public transport option to the airport, only private transport (including a rickety bus service). The major shareholders (including City Councils) of the Airport prefer to keep it that way because a large proportion of the Airport's income is derived from parking charges.
So with this array of opponents it's a wonder that any plans exist, let alone are being implemented, for an airport rail link. You can help things along with signing the Campaign for Better Transport petition.

In nude dancing, after the music stops, not everything does

Via Ethan Says

The joy of heterosexuality

Need any more proof or convincing that heterosexuality needs to be outlawed? Have a look at the following story from the North Jersey Media Group:
"23-year-old Anthony Merino was arrested on Sunday after a security guard found him having sex with the corpse of a 92-year-old woman in the morgue of Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, NJ. Anthony was a part-time lab tech there.
He was charged with desecrating human remains in the second degree and his bail was set at $400,000. If convicted the charge carries a maximum sentence of 10-years in prison and a $100,000 fine."

The guy, inevitably, has a MySpace site, the news report said. He looks quite hot in his pictures, in a New Jersey kind of way, I suppose, and I'd gladly play dead he wants to have his wicked way with me too. Although I can't guarantee they could prise him from my cold dead hands.

But really, fucking a 92 year old female corpse, where did he get this idea from?

The joy of net searching

What unspeakable terms have you been searching for again this month?:

- bad lads army naked: the officer class series was absolutely splendid and it certainly gave me some inspiring tips to apply at my next SM club meeting. The cold water bucket splash on the prostrate nude recruit's backside (after he was deliciously ordered to spread his legs) had me squirming with jealousy
- pube styles: mine's short back and sides, love a mohican too
- ejaculation contest: is this to complement the cocksucking contest?
- fake dick in porn movies: I would imagine there are so many surplus males available around the world that real dick prices have come down and fake ones are no longer needed
- home and away stars naked: yes, forget Neighbours, H&A has always had the better looking Aussie males
- home video Arab house wife fuck: you simply have no taste
- Japan penis day: what a splendid idea, and yes, it exists, more details here
- Owain Yeoman naked: yummy, you certainly have taste
- black boat sculpture clay or art or bird or stylized or boat or death or porcelain: Note from Google: please don't search the net when on illegal substances
- why did Rocco Siffredi get circumcised: last time I saw him he wasn't. Link is NSFW.

My favourite Norwegian TV show

Not that I can watch Norwegian TV here at the other side of the world, but I'm sure it would be if I could, judging from the rave reviews of Norway's TV2's "The Manshow".
The show has been testing a variety of sports whether they would be suitable to be played in the nude. Now that's a sports programme we could wholeheartedly support. Why doesn't New Zealand's sports channels do something like that because we already play rugby in the buff.

Becks (2000-2007)

It's been a sad week in our household. Our cat, Becks, fell ill - he lost control over his limbs and emitted a constant high pitch purr - and spent two nights at the vet. He was diagnosed with both feline diabetes and hypoglycemia, which made treatment largely impossible,especially since he didn't respond to insulin injections. As he was only 7 years old and not overweight, we suspect his condition was actually congenital. We noticed he had trouble using his hind legs when he was very young.

So we had to say goodbye to a much loved family member because we didn't want him to suffer unnecessarily.
Becks was always very much his own pussy, he led a very independent life and liked us very much being in his domain on his terms, looking after him and feeding him when he felt like it.
When you walked in the garden he loved showing you the way, and sometimes scooting up a tree to show off he could impersonate any panther.
He was fiercely territorial and eagerly took on the neighbours' cat, Jock, in regular Mexican standoffs, with both of them wailing like fire alarms.
Becks had his tail broken, we don't know how, and it had to be amputated 4 years ago. Also he almost lost his tongue, we suspect in a fight. If he could have he would have worn a leather jacket and rode a motorbike, that's the sort of tomcat he was.
But he also loved snuggling up every night on Ewen's lap - never on mine! - and sleep between us when the weather was wet or cold during the night - but never under the blankets!
In the morning he loved scoping out a sunny spot in the garden and often slept under a tree all afternoon as well.

So we laid him to rest in a quiet corner of the garden and planted a kowhai tree on his grave.
Sleep tight, little man!