To the theatre

I'm not much of a theatre or show queen, you know all that. I couldn't get worked up about the recently finished live stage show of Priscilla Queen of the Desert: I passed the theatre where it was playing just before curtains up and all I could see were beige gay men and women of a certain age going in. I'm the wrong demographic, obviously.

But now I came across this arresting promotional poster for a play at the Auckland Maidment Theatre. Which pushed all my buttons. So maybe I should buy a ticket to go see it.

From the press release:

"Andrew loves Jeremy. Jeremy loves Andrew, but won't admit it. Jeremy likes to fool around with Kevin. Cheryl thinks she loves Kevin, and is having his baby. Kevin loves himself. Then along comes Denis to f*ck it all up..."

Sounds like a familiar slice of life to me.

Fullers ferry service

Time to fire off another letter to Fullers for their abominable ferry service:

A sign on the Jet Raider said that during the survey period for Quickcat my Waiheke service would be provided by Jet Raider. A similar sign said the same thing when Surperflyte is on survey. Why do I cop the Jet Raider for both surveys? Why can't the 7.20am ex Matiatia and 5.30pm ex Auckland people get the unsurpassed Jet Raider service for a change? What have I done wrong to deserve these 6 weeks of choice between diesel fumes upstairs and methane fumes downstairs every year?

UPDATE: This is what I got back from Fullers:

Thank you for your recent e mail enquiring about vessel allocations on our Waiheke services.
As you are probably aware, Jetraider is a back up vessel to both Superflyte and Quickcat on Waiheke services.
The 7.20am ex Matiatia and 5.30pm ex Auckland are our busiest services and we will reschedule vessels to provide the maximum space and comfort to the majority of passengers wherever possible, which will mean changes to the allocation of vessels from time to time.
Your comments concerning diesel fumes and methane fumes on the Jetraider are noted and acknowledged and while we cannot remedy the outside smell of diesel fumes completely, we have had positive feedback on the improvement to the odour within the vessel since it has returned from it’s own survey. I will ensure our maintenance team investigate further your feedback on methane fumes within the cabin.

So the answer is: Yup, another six weeks of Jet Raider for you, matey.

Gay Snickers, or just boring straight nuts?

There has been some kerfuffle about "homophobic" advertising on American television by snack bar company Snickers. One advert, played during that man-love fest, the Superbowl, featured two guys nibbling on each end of a bar then meeting in the middle (Lady & The Tramp spaghetti eating style, if you remember that) for a snog and inevitable ending in an assertion of heterosexual chest-hair ripping masculinity:



Then there is the recent one featuring Mr T shooting up a mincingly speed-walking athlete, encouraging him to "get some nuts":


UPDATE: The Mr T advert has now been withdrawn.

All a far cry from the Snickers ads down under, which I have always liked because of their quite homo-erotic scenarios involving those surfer boys. Here's one of the Australian versions:


How come a company like Snickers approves such diametrically opposed imagery in their advertising in different countries?

Mid-winter rugby

We like to ignore rugby matches, unless they involve horny after-match scrums in 5 star hotel bedrooms, or student traditions. Now Mark Simpson found an American newspaper report about naked beach rugby in Dunedin. It completely erroneously states that the players were members of the ABs or Bok squads. But the men in the pictures are certainly far better looking than any of the current NZ alpha rugby males.

It's a wonderful Winter cold tradition we have discussed before and long may it continue.

UPDATE: There is an amusing report on the match in the Daily Telegraph. Who knew a crusty Tory paper could have a sense of humour?

The new Immigration Bill

The new Immigration Bill [PDF, 9MB] needs your disapproval.
No Right Turn canvasses the arguments against it.
As an immigrant myself who had a relatively easy entry into New Zealand, I have heard of horror stories under the current regulations - which seem to change almost at random every few months. For a country dependent on migrant labour and vibrant foreigners, NZ should make it an easier, more streamlined process. Of course, joining the European Union would solve a lot of those problems - plus make it easier for Kiwis to get out of New Zealand!
Sign the petition here.

Dicks on butts

From the Detroit Free Press:

Flint Police Chief David Dicks pats down a man who was stopped Monday in Flint for his sagging pants. The unidentified man was warned and released. Dicks said his officers would start arresting people wearing saggy pants that expose skivvies, boxer shorts or bare bottoms. "Some people call it a fad," Dicks told the Free Press this week while patrolling the streets of Flint. "But I believe it's a national nuisance. It is indecent and thus it is indecent exposure, which has been on the books for years."

Terrible fashion and so deservedly a crime, but seeing a cop padding down a shirtless twink in the street is totally hot.

Roskilde Festival nude run

The Danes apparently are the happiest people in the world. It's not surprising to see why. Happy as pigs in shit!

A slide show from this year's run here. Why can't out local newspaper run a photo essay like that, instead of endless pictures of wife beaters?

Porn and rugby, but not quite sporno

We have been vindicated again in our never ending fascination with sex and sport when even mainstream channels have put both together in a weekend afternoon schedule. Prime TV screened a few minutes of porn during its "grassroots" rugby show, as technicians got the wiring wrongly linked up for Sky's pay-per-porn channel Spice:excess.
But instead of going all ga-ga over it, what a great opportunity for fathers and sons, who were already bonding over a game of "grassroots" rugby that afternoon, to make it easy to have a chat about the other facts of male life, amply illustrated with visuals courtesy of your pay TV subscription.
Perhaps Sky TV should go off on a new marketing campaign promoting its sex and sports channels in one easy male bonding package.

And isn't it interesting that all the "male" channels on Sky (Sports, Movies, Rugby, Porn) are only available when paying through the nose on top of your basic subscription, while Sky has been hastily adding channels aimed at females to its basic package (e.g. Vibe, Fashion TV). It's hard to be a guy!

Honk if you want to subsidise them

What the No Right Turn man said.
The trucking industry indeed protests too much. They demand that we, taxpayers, subsidise not only their profits but their (often shonky, sole-operator, scandalously long hours, P-fuelled dangerous driving) business model. They only pay just over half their fair share in national roading costs, so the Government should up their charges.
Perhaps 4 July could become National Trucker Day, when all those redneck talkback honkers can celebrate the fact that from that day, for the rest of the year, it will be them only, as taxpayers, that will pay for truckers to use the roads gratis.

Our new head of state

Well, if the New Zealand republican push for a homegrown head of state fails, we could do worse than getting Britain's spare.

I have said it before and will bang on about it: Prince Harry is still the only member of the royal family I would consider sleeping with.

Picture via LA Rag. Don't you just love the tan line!

Drop your pants, Dan

What is it with these journalists wanting sports people to pontificate about things they are barely qualified for?
It's rugby player Dan Carter's turn again to blabber on about fashion in the Herald.
Being a fully paid up model for an underpants company should automaticallty disqualify him from commenting since his opinions are bought.

He should stick to looking pretty, a rare talent indeed.