January 20, 2012
I dunno if you remember me but we used to rule this little ole town before you were raptured into the big white house 4 years ago. You left me here in our warm, cozy trailer, making me swear to take care of our kids while you were away doing greater things. Our eldest, Track, who finally after a lot of social torture saw the sense of signing up for deployment in Iraq to help further your career, has spent the last 4 years in Iraq as your boss Mr McSame had promised. Jack, who used to be a midshipman but now scores somewhere in downtown San Diego, lord knows what. I haven’t heard lately from Jimmy, who in between marine deployments was moonlighting on activeduty.com, but he assures me he is as big a star as you among his key demographics. Bristol and Levi and their 4 kids live in the next door trailer. I’m all by myself here now since you left and took Trig to Washington. You said he’d make a more focused White House pet than a dog ever could.
So here’s a pic of me to put on your VP desk so you can think of happier times.
Your first dude, Todd.
PS Open the pic at home, not at work!