Teen charged with having sex with dummy
SIOUX FALLS, S.D., Nov. 21 (UPI) -- A South Dakota teenager has been charged with indecent exposure for allegedly having sex with a mannequin.
A security guard found Michael James Plentyhorse, 18, sans pants on the floor in the Washington High School Alumni Room in Sioux Falls, S.D., with a half-naked female mannequin, the Sioux Falls Argus Leader reported.
"There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin," a police spokesman told the newspaper. "That's the only way I know how to put it."
The spokesman said security staff had reported the same mannequin found undressed on several occasions.
I love the use of the French phrase 'sans pants' to describe his sexual technique. If the reporter had been really historically aware he could have written 'sans-culottes'. But the horny guy really impressed me by shucking his slacks completely because usually, for a quickie, boys unbutton and only slightly lower their pants so their arses remain unexposed. The security guard could have noted further details such as whether his ass was hairy or smooth, what stage their love making had progressed to and whether he made sure he was having safe sex - such as making sure none of his more sensitive bits were in danger of getting caught in any mannequin mechanics. But in fact the guard was speechless as he didn't know "how to put it", so the sight must have been impressive.
News item via World O'Crap