Fisking Garth George

Garth "Vader" George had another burst of verbal diarrhoea recently:

There are three things I acknowledge, and accept that they exist, but which I have never been able, for the life of me, to get my head around. They have always remained far beyond my understanding, no matter how much I ponder them or how old I get.

How many words do you need to say "WTF?" Garth is obviously on a per-word-published-fee at the Herald. Or is he making up for all the words he took from others before?

The first is child abuse, paedophilia and cruelty to domestic animals;

Note the rider in there: domestic animals. Cruelty, neglect, crating, slaughterhouses for farm animals get his blessing, or at least he does understand.

the second is male homosexuality;

I, for the life of me, have never been able to get my head around male heterosexuality either. Our Garth shows himself much the Victorian (as in Queen) he always has aspired to, even down to the denial of the existence of female homosexuals, much like the old Queen did. Or are there no visible lesbians in Rotorua? I'm sure he's yodelled along with the Topp Twins for years.

and the third is vegetarianism.

Which explains his obvious understanding and approval of slaughterhouse animals and their treatment.

every time I encounter a vegan or vegetarian (I'm told there's a difference) I simply shake my head in wonder.

This from a man who claims to know and taste the difference between pies in New Plymouth, Rotorua and all points south, but has no idea of two of mankind's oldest cultural (and often religious) traits.
Then comes a long litany of recent domestic animal cruelty, which I will spare you because it upsets me too and should lead to unspeakable punishment of the perpetrators, involving the future inability to reproduce, lest they perpetuate their animal cruelty gene line. On that score Garth and I are in agreement.
But strangely enough, he seems to want to exempt any animal farmer from the same standards. The Ministry of Agriculture very much follows this line already with barely any prosecutions despite the harrowing cases that have come to light. I guess Garth's inability to distinguish between vegetarians and vegans stems from the fact that he ignores how they land on his plate (or in his pie)

Fisking Garth "Vader" George

Our favourite pensioner commentator in his latest message from the pulpit is blaming the murder of Nia Glassie by her extended family as an outcome of our liberal, secular, hedonist culture and an inevitable outcome since society allowed mixed flatting, gays and contraceptive rights.
The usual convoluted logic is applied to blame modern society, to absolve any pre-1960s society (since no-one got murdered, no child was abused and no drugs were consumed before that dread decade) and to push for a return to paternalistic, repressive and inquisitorial social and familial structures.
The truth, of course, is far simpler in most cases of child abuse and child murder: males who are not genetically related to the children in their household are the greatest threat to the safety of those children. Lions also kill all offspring of their predecessor in their newly acquired pride. It's a simple biological genetic impulse. Not one which should ever be condoned, of course, but certainly bears no relationship with female reproductive rights, the availability of abortion or any of the other "1960s horrors".
(Not that I would absolve any females a priori: Chris and Cru Kahui's parents are arguments against heterosexuality per se.)
In the Glassie case our Garth should look at it much clearly as it is really simple too: if Wiremu and Michael Curtis's mother had had access to safe termination, the world would now be a better place. Those scumbags are the best arguments for legal abortion.

UPDATE 1: The father of the Curtis murder duo got convicted for bashing Nia too. I hope he can watch the fruit of his loins being punked nightly in gaol.

UPDATE 2: Garth George got his arse truly whupped too by some overseas feminists at Feministing who stumbled on his ramblings and sent him dozens of juicy emails. So juicy he filled his latest column with a sample of them. He thinks he has the last laugh by collecting his column fee by getting his readers to write it for him. But the comments are way more apt and readable and funny than what he has ever committed to paper. My favourite one: "When I grow up I want to get paid to write bullshit too." My fisking is small beer compared to those ballbusting ladies!

Our favourite pastime: fisking Garth "Vader" George

Good ole George is back from his Anzac trip to his heroes' fields in yonder Turkey and it was a pity he didn't take the opportunity to have a look around the bits of Europe he is scathing about in his latest column.

Except for Newstalk ZB's morning host, Leighton Smith, I have never heard anyone predict the eventual disintegration of the European Union, and sooner rather than later.

That's because Leighton Smith talks about everything out of his arse, as is his wont as a talkback radio host, we don't expect anything else. I've never heard much talk about the eventual disintegration of the United States either, blue and red states notwithstanding, but that doesn't mean it's about to happen, no matter how welcome that would be.

Yet for years I have held the opinion that this unwieldy collection of different nations cannot survive as an entity and that the more additional economic, social and political connections that are made, the less likely it is to survive.

Garth, the sociologist and politocologist, swimming against the tide of social progress, peace, tolerance and just plain common sense, obviously prefers the pre-war arrangement, in vogue since the Celts were defeated by the Romans, with occasional bloody wars alternating with tense ceasefires, Inquisitorial screams and the sweet smell of heretical burnings.

The resounding "non" in the referendum on the proposed EU constitution held in France this week is merely the first major breeze through the house-of-cards structure that is European "unity". And at the time of writing it is expected that the Dutch, fiercely protective of the sovereignty of their damp little patch of dirt, will follow suit. That the breach happened in France comes as no surprise, for the French are probably the most nationalistic, insular and xenophobic of all Europeans.

So hurray for the Dutch protecting their polder but boo to the French for wanting to give Chirac a bloody nose.

The court action to suppress courtroom videotapes by the undercover Rainbow Warrior killers, Mafart and Prieur, is simply further evidence - although none is needed - of the selfishness and arrogance of this insufferable race.

Garth couldn't afford the French champagne to celebrate the attack on those horrible, pagan, nay, even godless, green activists? Or was he just not invited to the party?

It would have been interesting if Germany had held a referendum instead of deciding the constitution issue in the Bundestag. But Gerhard Schroeder wasn't as silly as the doddering Jacques Chirac. He probably knew that a referendum would be doomed to failure in a country in which neo-Nazism flourishes mainly as a result of European Union racial liberalism.

Ah, the war and the Nazis, never ending sources for the self-identification of Garth's generation. Everything is frozen since 8 May 1945, Germany isn't really not one of us, there are still all those Nazis under the bed, no wonder referendums are frowned upon - never mind that the Allied designed constitution does not make room for plebiscites, not since the rather unfortunate experience before the war with them (just Google plebiscites, Anschluss, Sudetenland).

And I wonder, too, what the results might have been had Austria and Italy asked their populations to decide. Greece, too, with Turkey knocking on the EU's door. In Britain, which to its credit has remained more at arm's length from the EU than most, Tony Blair seems sure to think twice about the referendum planned for next year because there is nothing surer than that the Brits would deliver an even stronger "no" than the French.

Never you mind that Britain has been the most ardent proponent of EU enlargement - in a thinly veiled bid to dilute a Franco-German axis of power in the EU - and is campaigning for Turkey's entry too.

How anyone can believe that this assortment of nations can form such an intimate relationship and make it last is beyond me, although I'm sure it makes perfect sense to the post-modernist utopianists who devised it and built it. They seem to think that history can be ignored, that nationhood, race, ethnicity and culture developed and nurtured over thousands of years can suddenly be subsumed to a perceived "good".

I often ask myself the same question about the United States, Brazil, India, Russia and China.

They seem to think that in this New Age of political correctness, ancient rivalries - often virulent hatreds - can be overcome and forgotten as if they had never happened. The whole of European history says bollocks to that. But, once again, the post-modernists hold sway, the multiculturalists who believe that all cultures are equivalent and thus can live together in harmony. World history says bollocks to that, too.

The history and unrivalled success of the EU has been about saying bollocks to those irrational "hatreds", which were mostly fostered by religious fanatics such as the Catholic Church, their protestant counterparts and now their Islamist partners in crime. A "Coalition of the Circumcised" (c)Uroskin arraigned against the secular Enlightenment project that the EU is.
Not content with just being a religious nationalist, he swallows whole the pseudo-anti-capitalist line that it's all about the money:

Why have these things been done - the attempts to make Western Europe's disparate nations into one amorphous country, and the attempts to integrate disparate races into one New Zealand? It's all been done in the pursuit of money.

But then, it's not about the money. No, the superannuated mind twists and turns in its swamp of illogicality (will he ever be able to make his mind up about anything?):

Thus are we reduced by the neo-Marxists to the economic units proclaimed by Karl Marx himself. He must be laughing his head off in whatever hell he inhabits to see that what his original philosophies miserably failed to achieve are being pursued afresh by a new breed.

And then Garth fires his moneyshot:

And I'll tell you what: The European Union will disintegrate just as the Soviet Union did. Why? Because the foundations upon which they both were and are built are Godless.

Well, I'd rather be godless than clueless.

Superannuated schoolboys come out of the closet to...

accuse their former German teacher, current Labour MP David Benson-Pope, of handling their classroom antics with a fitting diet of punishments. You know, throwing tennis balls at their pimply heads, and a general thrashing and caning, as schoolmasters have been wont to over the ages. Now twenty-odd years later they come running to fat "phat" daddy Rodney Hide ACT MP and favourite agony aunty Judith Collins National MP, crying the evil schoolmaster has given them some tough love.
The irony, of course, that those parties that are decrying Benson-Pope are full of tough love thugs baying for a return of CP to schools and demonise any suggestions to restrict parental rights to beat their children.
And it's good to see our good friend and fisking partner, Garth "Vader" George, reminisces longingly of schooldays past.

Fisking Garth "Vader" George

Good ole doddery Garth is at it again.

The public relations campaign aimed at the acceptance of homosexuals and the homosexual lifestyle as "normal" has been going on for nearly 40 years and it has to be said that it has been the most outstandingly successful example of spin-doctoring in the history of mankind.

And let's not forget that's much faster than the feminist movement, which had to wait 50 years to get the vote and is still waiting for pay equity. And it took 5,000 years for slaves to get their condition abolished (or at least be treated as "normal", see: sex slavery, indebted bondage and people smuggling).

Thus, within a few decades of coming out of the closet, homosexuals are to be found in all areas of life. They are in positions of influence in all the mainline churches, all the professions, in the media, the justice system and law enforcement, healthcare, education, Government agencies (human rights, censorship, Aids), and state bureaucracies in general.

And let's not forget the All Blacks, the armed forces, successful capitalist enterprises, the arts and hairdressing crafts. In the past, which is not a foreign country for our Garth - he fondly remembers and pines for the era when buggery and margarine were illegal - no homosexual person, closeted or gossiped about, has ever held a job, in public or private sectors. No, they lived on eating babies, poisoning wells and consorting with the Evil One.

And in comparatively recent years homosexuals have been elected to the legislatures, not just of New Zealand but of countries all over the world.

Damn democracy, damn elections, damn universal franchise.

Yet all the best and most objective evidence suggests that they compose a maximum of 2 per cent, and probably less, of the population, in this country at least.

2%? We surely have enough firewood to build the stakes for all of them. While we're at it, why not proscribe any religious adherents (a lifestyle choice if ever there was one!) of sects, nay, cults, that represent less than 2%? Their lifestyle choice is not a valid one so their religion should not deserve the recognition of the true path laid out by the bishop Garth.

It is an astounding story of success for what was a seriously disadvantaged minority group and just goes to show what can be achieved by single-minded effort, sacrifice and perseverance.

Yeah, see if you can top that effort, ACT members. 2%! 2%! 2%!

As I have said before, I am prepared to bet a year's pay that if the Civil Union Bill and its much more sinister sister, the Relationships (Statutory References) Bill, were put to secret ballot by referendum, they would be soundly defeated.

And we're willing to bet Garth's Herald writing fee that if a referendum was held to decide on whether pensioners should be paid out of current worker wage packets (especially when said pensioners are drawing a nice packet from writing moralistic sermons in the local daily about how said workers should lead their lives and organise their relationships), or whether Viagra should be classified as a class A drug and condemned as a lifetyle choice because said pensioners use it as part of their hedonism without leading to conception, there may not be much doubt about that outcome either.

So I will simply sit back and take comfort once again in those wonderful and eternal words uttered by our Lord Jesus Christ just minutes before he died hanging on the Cross

If only Mel Gibson had taken Garth's advice instead of lumping us with such an interminable dirge.

I will simply sit back and take comfort that Garth George uncannily resembles one of those dinosaurs looking anxiously up into the sky at that flash of light 65 million years ago.

It's part of our kulture, dammit

What to make of all that male sex in the news?
First, we got those sods on the rocks, a.k.a. Pitcairn, saying all that extramarital nookie of the kids and everyone else's kids was ultimately OK because it was part of island culture. Having only been once to a Pacific island (Rarotonga) it didn't seem to me a hotbed of illicit sex, or any other sex. Every other building along the road was a church or a cemetery and the islanders seemed to have been very effective at breeding out and preaching out any fun you associate with a tropical island culture.
So what were those Adventists on Pitcairn up to then? Pitcairn looks to be such a godforsaken and boring place - there isn't even a sandy beach, let alone a palm tree - it's hardly surprising they had to make their own fun.

Making your own fun seems also to be the case with those 500 Australians arrested in one of those moral panic swoops on illicit internet shopping for kiddy porn. If we still had gallows, stocks or public burnings, they would be very busy these days, since the kiddy porn merchants have taken on the role of witches in the public mind. Never mind that they only need to be a dab hand at PhotoShop to come up with the imagery that they want to wank over (rather than having to molest the neighbour's daughter for real, as on Pitcairn), it's so much more satisfying to have a go at a few sad sacks. Maybe they should also claim it was part of Australian culture at their trials.

Which brings us (again) to Garth "Vader" George, patron saint of hazing rituals in the New Zealand Army. How dare those recruits complain about the treatment they received as part of their cadet training? he seems to say. The only one that is allowed a pip squeak is the dead one, according to Army chaplain Garth. The others should have taken the brooming, the beating and the humiliation like a man, like obviously George did when he was in the army.
Garth George is a living example of why we can't have any respect for our elders, unless they earn it by calling a spade a spade in past criminal behaviour by their peers.

UPDATE: More allegations of abuse at the Waiouru Military Cadet Camp have rolled in and this time it's rape. Wonder what spin Garth George will put on this one. Training to take it like a man is best left to consenting queer boys.

Fisking Garth "Vader" George

The Herald's resident old doddery Garth was at it again this week, a few choice extracts:

Most New Zealanders are uncomfortable with the idea of giving an unnecessary legitimacy to same-sex relationships.

It's only a hunch of his, though. He probably did a straw poll in his Avondale Heights RSA.

There are only 10,000 New Zealanders in such relationships - less than a minuscule 0.25 per cent of our entire population.

There are only 10,000 New Zealanders in Gore. Shall we use the last of the Kupe gas to get rid of them and thus remove the hillbilly stain it smirches on our national image?

There is no need to give same-sex couples a status in law similar to that of married couples, because a few minor changes to existing law would overcome the most often trotted out excuses.

Which is exactly what the Omnibus Bill does.

The spearhead of opposition to the Civil Union Bill has come into the hands of the Destiny Church, whose leaders have never learned the lesson that it's not what you say but how you say it that counts.

And Garth has mastered that art so well he is allowed spout his opinion in dulcet tones in the biggest newspaper in New Zealand; gets paid for it; and gets readers to pay for it.
Geez, that's one better on Brian Tamaki (but our Brian is on the main television channel, he doesn't need newspapers - the image comes before the Word at the Destiny Church).

It's a pity that Destiny has received so little support from other church groups and denominations.

Another reader of the newspaper suggested the reason for this: "With all this business about civil unions, I am just thankful that the Anglican Church's founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, and his wife Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour, and his wife Anne of Cleves, and his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on traditional Christian marriage." Nuff said!

The heterophobic homosexual community [...] is geared to react at a moment's notice to even the mildest criticism of its lifestyle and aspirations.

Oh George, don't do yourself down! "mildest"? You disappoint me. Give me some vitriolic criticism! Maybe you amuse me then.

Poor Whakahuihui Vercoe, the Archbishop of the Anglican Church in New Zealand, who gave from his heart his view of homosexuality.

That poor old senile sod was dealt with by the gay mafia ages ago.

I would bet a year's salary that if a referendum were held tomorrow on whether the bill should be passed, the answer would be a resounding "no" by a huge majority.

If you held a referendum to bring in stringing up all those promiscuous non-procreative gays, or all those promiscuous and very procreative other minorities, or just to get rid of Asian drivers, you'd get an easy majority too. Nice to see George spelling out that he's in favour of majoritarian rule rather than democracy. Our society and politics are in safe hands with pensioners like George who have nothing to do all day but think up the latest thing that might frighten their horses.

This is not a human rights issue, not a moral issue, not a religious issue: it is simply a physical issue [...] to ensure the continuation of the human race by the procreation of children.

Can I be the celebrant presiding over the dissolution of Garth George's marriage, since his wife, being post-menopausal, is incapable of doing the proper physical thing and breed? Their marriage, by Ol' George's logic, is a sham and can't be legally recognised anymore as his couplings can't result in any breeding.
My guess is that this "biological" basis of marriage laws is just a ruse by dirty old men who want to shack up with younger women, since there is a better chance of procreation.