April 07, 2005

Sex in the news

news item:
"Drunken ramblings through a women's barracks and an indecent assault have led to six months' detention and dismissal from the Army for a young soldier.
Private Shannon Haimona Goldsmith, 20, faced a court-martial at Linton Camp on Monday over a series of incidents at Waiouru on June 11, 2004."
Will this be used to argue an increase in the drinking age back to 21?
"Goldsmith pleaded guilty to one charge of indecent assault, three of failure to comply with written orders (that male personnel stay out of the women's barracks) and one of drunkenness."
Don't they teach these soldiers how to get a date when they are not drunk?
"Captain Harding read an agreed statement of fact in which Goldsmith admitted climbing into bed with three sleeping women, one of whom he touched indecently."
No mention whether he managed to fumble his wiener out of his regulation boxers, or what "touching indecently" means. In my experience with drunk males, they just want to slobber all over you and tell you how much they love you before falling down and start snoring.
"The woman, then aged 18, woke and told him to get out. He stumbled from the room, calling her a "slut" and a "skank" before collapsing in the corridor and going to sleep."
Par for the course, what did I tell ya? Interesting projection of epithets he labeled the women with, I hear it's normal to call them "lesbians" if they don't want to put out.
"The woman used her cellphone to take his photograph to use as evidence."
Hmmm, bet that would beat the monkey business on the Vodafone ads.
"Goldsmith woke the next day in his own bed, claiming to have little memory of what had happened."
When that happens to me I always check whether I'm still wearing pants. I think the prosecutor failed in his duty to establish this detail. Further background to the case:
"Captain Harding said that, on "payday Thursday", Goldsmith went drinking with friends after dinner and returned to his barracks drunk. In the early hours, he entered the women's barracks, where four soldiers shared each room, and committed the offences."
Those antics didn't prevent some South Island pundits without girlfriends to indulge in some female barracks fantasies of their own.
"The woman he admitted indecently touching made a victim impact statement in which she said that since the assault her self-confidence had been shattered and was she seriously considering resigning from the service.
In arguing for a prison sentence, Captain Harding said Goldsmith's actions should not be dismissed as the drunken antics of a young man.
"It is far more serious than that," he said. "His drunken state was no excuse. It might explain his actions, but it does not condone them."
Duncan Harvey, representing Goldsmith, said the actions had been completely out of character for his client.
"Whilst alcohol was not a mitigating factor, it does explain what happened," he said."
My sentence would be: publish the cellphone picture on the internet, and a course in speed dating in a booze free venue.

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