Two university rugby players today admitted performing lewd sex acts while naked on a public bus. Ryan Lissamore, 19, and 21-year-old Oliver Graham carried out the indecent acts while on the top deck of the No 94 service bus, travelling from Cheltenham to Gloucester on the evening of September 20 last year. [...] The two men, along with four other players who also admitted carrying out indecent acts, are students at the University of Gloucestershire and had been drinking in Cheltenham.Now why does that never happen on my bus to work or home? The newspaper reporting is a bit too coy, I mean, the performances given may have been world class and worthy of the attention of a talent scouts of adult websites specialising in that sort of public entertainment. At least I would have expected more details about their bodies, technique and stamina.
It was after they got on the bus that the incidents took place. They had been travelling on the Stagecoach bus with fellow rugby players Lewis Baker, 21, James Devlin, 19, Alex Bye, 19, and Daniel Hammond, 20. Last month the four all admitted a separate count of outraging public decency by committing obscene acts in front of other passengers.
The charge stated: "On September 20, 2010 Lewis Baker, Alex Bye, James Devlin and Daniel Hammond outraged public decency on a public service bus travelling from Cheltenham to Gloucester, masturbated themselves while naked and allowed themselves to be masturbated by another within the site and outrage of other persons present."
That offence was witnessed by teenage girls, who left the top deck of the bus and went downstairs.
And there is also no word about the passengers who would (like me) have applauded the show fiercely. When the International Rugby Board provides that kind of entertainment during the World Cup this year I may even consider buying a ticket!
In my younger days, when going on the night bus home after a night on the town it was usually community singing that kept passengers awake lest they found themselves waking up somewhere in Essex instead of E14. How much more fun would the bus journey be if the local rugby club provided some on board entertainment, needing no other props than their bodies. And as for the teenage girls leaving early: silly, silly, silly, don't you know lads these days love to show off their bodies for your benefit?
And a local rag tut-tut-thundered about the lads' behaviour too