Fisking Garth "Vader" George

Good ole doddery Garth is at it again.

The public relations campaign aimed at the acceptance of homosexuals and the homosexual lifestyle as "normal" has been going on for nearly 40 years and it has to be said that it has been the most outstandingly successful example of spin-doctoring in the history of mankind.

And let's not forget that's much faster than the feminist movement, which had to wait 50 years to get the vote and is still waiting for pay equity. And it took 5,000 years for slaves to get their condition abolished (or at least be treated as "normal", see: sex slavery, indebted bondage and people smuggling).

Thus, within a few decades of coming out of the closet, homosexuals are to be found in all areas of life. They are in positions of influence in all the mainline churches, all the professions, in the media, the justice system and law enforcement, healthcare, education, Government agencies (human rights, censorship, Aids), and state bureaucracies in general.

And let's not forget the All Blacks, the armed forces, successful capitalist enterprises, the arts and hairdressing crafts. In the past, which is not a foreign country for our Garth - he fondly remembers and pines for the era when buggery and margarine were illegal - no homosexual person, closeted or gossiped about, has ever held a job, in public or private sectors. No, they lived on eating babies, poisoning wells and consorting with the Evil One.

And in comparatively recent years homosexuals have been elected to the legislatures, not just of New Zealand but of countries all over the world.

Damn democracy, damn elections, damn universal franchise.

Yet all the best and most objective evidence suggests that they compose a maximum of 2 per cent, and probably less, of the population, in this country at least.

2%? We surely have enough firewood to build the stakes for all of them. While we're at it, why not proscribe any religious adherents (a lifestyle choice if ever there was one!) of sects, nay, cults, that represent less than 2%? Their lifestyle choice is not a valid one so their religion should not deserve the recognition of the true path laid out by the bishop Garth.

It is an astounding story of success for what was a seriously disadvantaged minority group and just goes to show what can be achieved by single-minded effort, sacrifice and perseverance.

Yeah, see if you can top that effort, ACT members. 2%! 2%! 2%!

As I have said before, I am prepared to bet a year's pay that if the Civil Union Bill and its much more sinister sister, the Relationships (Statutory References) Bill, were put to secret ballot by referendum, they would be soundly defeated.

And we're willing to bet Garth's Herald writing fee that if a referendum was held to decide on whether pensioners should be paid out of current worker wage packets (especially when said pensioners are drawing a nice packet from writing moralistic sermons in the local daily about how said workers should lead their lives and organise their relationships), or whether Viagra should be classified as a class A drug and condemned as a lifetyle choice because said pensioners use it as part of their hedonism without leading to conception, there may not be much doubt about that outcome either.

So I will simply sit back and take comfort once again in those wonderful and eternal words uttered by our Lord Jesus Christ just minutes before he died hanging on the Cross

If only Mel Gibson had taken Garth's advice instead of lumping us with such an interminable dirge.

I will simply sit back and take comfort that Garth George uncannily resembles one of those dinosaurs looking anxiously up into the sky at that flash of light 65 million years ago.