But is self-love OK?

The Bush administration has issued strict new guidelines on issues such as "abstinence" (they are for use by organisations applying for funding grants for abstinence-only education programmes):

Abstinence curricula must have a clear definition of sexual abstinence which must be consistent with the following: “Abstinence means voluntarily choosing not to engage in sexual activity until marriage. Sexual activity refers to any type of genital contact or sexual stimulation between two persons including, but not limited to, sexual intercourse.”

It basically means that you should never be taught or informed about any form of sexual contact, ever, and you have to abstain as an adult if you are unmarried, regardless of age or sexual orientation.
That last point is pregnant with possibilities for satire as Condi Rice can't have sex, ever, until she marries the President; and, naturellement, Jeff Gannon's gay whoring within the White House and the armed services is out too.
And let's not forget the two White House ambassadrixes of chastity and clean living, Jenna and Not-Jenna. Surely daddy's edicts won't cramp their lifestyle?