When were you happiest? On a hot night in Paris
What is your greatest fear? Going blind (I must stop wanking!)
What is your earliest memory? Getting a fish tank with dozens of gold fish, I was about 3
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I can't multitask
What is the trait you most deplore in others? stupidity (sorry, in PC speak: dyslexia)
What is your most treasured possession? my health
Where would you like to live? Where I live now
What would your super power be? Being able to tell the future in cryptic terms
Who would play you in the film of your life? The little devil on my left shoulder
What is your most unappealing habit? Wanking
What is your guiltiest pleasure? Eating
What is your favourite smell? Cacharel Pour Homme (on my first boyfriend)
What is your favourite word? Gin&Tonic
What is the worst thing anyone's ever said to you? That I was a lazy bastard
What is your fancy dress costume of choice? Birthday suit
Cat or dog? Cat
What or who is the greatest love of your life? My main man
What was the best kiss of your life? Barcelona, 7 September 2003
Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it? No
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? Socrates, Voltaire, Oscar Wilde - and the Marquis de Sade for after dinner capers
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? So, what with, actually
What has been your biggest disappointment? Country music
If you could edit your past, what would you change? Emigrate sooner than I did
How do you relax? Reading, blogging, sex
How often do you have sex? Enough
What is the closest you've ever come to death? Was knocked off a bicycle by car, was with my dad age 8 and was carted off to hospital
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far? my job
What song would you like played at your funeral? "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
What is the most important lesson life has taught you? be patient, be tolerant, don't judge quickly (but make your mind up eventually)
How would you like to be remembered? Unsure whether I want to be
Tell us a joke... I'm the worst joke teller in history
Tell us a secret... You read my secrets here every day
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