January 19, 2005

Useless inventions

I've been a little bit behind in catching up with the news this week, but what inspired me lately was the report on a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers so horny for each other they will forget about shooting guns at GIs and instead shoot cum.
Now this is a fun concept, methinks. At least much more fun than doing all that bloody killing.
First, the gay bomb will need to be set off like a piece of firework, so the boys go all ooh-ing and ahhh-ing, very much like a lot of heterosexual foreplay.
Then, imagine this love bomb as a giant bottle of amyl-nitrate left opened on the battle field. Soldiers discarding their weapons and getting out of their gear to get all runty and forget about the war. Fighting morale would not only be diminished among enemy troops but soldiers from all sides may want to join in that great orgy! Wearing gasmasks with a small cannister of amyl attached is really great for morale on the battlefield of love - but I digress.
Since so many have been fired from the US armed forces for homosexual behaviour, it's clear they have been testing this love bomb for a while now. Only, it wouldn't work too well against armies where it's actually not illegal to be gay and in the army. i.e. in most of the civilised world bar a few Anglo-saxon countries.
Since the project has been aborted the private sector must have picked up on it, manufactured a blue pill and marketed it as an erectile dysfunction drug for soldiers who want to get away from the gay battlefield.

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