July 16, 2007

When psychologists are let loose

Psychologists are a strange breed. Constantly trying to categorize your mind, behaviour and desires and then berating you for deluding yourself as to your true self - charging you all the way of course. Now their in-house magazine, Psychology Today, carried an article called Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature: Why most suicide bombers are Muslim, beautiful people have more daughters, humans are naturally polygamous, sexual harassment isn't sexist, and blonds are more attractive.
Let's go through a few of them.

Men like blond bombshells (and women want to look like them)
"Women's desire to look like Barbie—young with small waist, large breasts, long blond hair, and blue eyes—is a direct, realistic, and sensible response to the desire of men to mate with women who look like her. There is evolutionary logic behind each of these features.
Men prefer young women in part because they tend to be healthier than older women. One accurate indicator of health is physical attractiveness; another is hair. Healthy women have lustrous, shiny hair, whereas the hair of sickly people loses its luster. Because hair grows slowly, shoulder-length hair reveals several years of a woman's health status."
The picture is wrong: it portrays heterosexual (why do these psychologists always forget that rider?) men as wanting to mate for offspring with Paris Hilton only, as if sex had no other function in the human world (apparently not according to psychologists). It illuminates the sexual fantasies of psychologists better than explaining sexual behaviour of guys.
"It is no coincidence that blond hair evolved in Scandinavia and northern Europe, probably as an alternative means for women to advertise their youth, as their bodies were concealed under heavy clothing."
Some of those psychologists must have attended one too many conference in Scandinavia to cloud their science. In no other cold climate population do women have blond hair: not the Sami, Mongolians, Iniuit or Taiga dwellers - none of their women have to use blond hair to advertise themselves because of their heavy clothing. Scandinavian women are the exception rather than the type. And what about the blond boys in Scandinavia? I do have trouble taking blonds (real and fake ones) seriously, female or male, I'm sorry about that.

Humans are naturally polygamous and Most women benefit from polygyny, while most men benefit from monogamy
"Women can share a wealthy man. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer man. [...] Men in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don't realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no wife at all, or, if they are lucky, a wife who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy."
Again the psychologists forget the homosexuals, now all in the name of economic advantage for women's offspring whether to share a rich man or have one poor guy. If there was polygyny many men could only have guy-on-guy sex because all the girls are taken by the richer guys. Which leads to the next statement:

Most suicide bombers are Muslim: polygyny in Arab countries, resulting in many un-marriable young men, combined with the promise of 72 virgins in paradise (some sort of afterlife reversal of polygyny compensating guys for the sexual hardship they suffered in the real world) leads to guys taking the shortcut to paradise.

The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of
"Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it's not because they are middle-aged. It's because their wives are."
And that's also why gay guys never have a midlife crisis. And yes, old girls, there is no hope for you. Getting a toy boy is obviously anti-evolutionary and mad-as-hell behaviour.

The other half a dozen statements are worth checking out, really.

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