The Skinhead Hamlet (translated from Ye Olde English by Richard Curtis Esq.) My favourite scene:
SCENE IIIOphelia's Bedroom.
(Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES.)
LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you one while I'm gone.
OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.
I can see a film version with Tim Roth (anno "Made in Britain") as Hamlet, Ray Winstone as Claudius, and Catherine Tate as Ophelia