A Gore man who ran naked through a Warehouse store in Central Otago was yesterday fined in the Alexandra District Court.I think the "summary of the facts" left much to be desired: Why did the 19 year old panelbeater (hmmmmmmm!!) only need one shoe to cover his manhood? Was the shoe pointing up or down? Where did he put his cash to pay for new clothes at the checkout? Was he wearing his new outfit when nabbed by the cops? Did the cops have to strip him to recognise his profile on the security footage?
Judge Paul Kellar fined Jay Harley Katon, 19, panelbeater, $350 for offensive behaviour at the Alexandra store on October 25.
The police summary of facts says Katon was grossly intoxicated and entered the store wearing a pair of socks and using a shoe to cover his genitals.
A "large number of people", including mothers and young children, were shopping when Katon ran around the clothing section before being asked to leave.
He bought some clothes before leaving and was found by police in a vehicle in the town centre, the court was told.
Katon admitted being in the store but said he had a shoe over his genitals "the whole time", the summary of facts says.
He told police he had been drinking at the Ettrick Tavern an hour before the incident and someone had stolen his clothes.
And even more pointedly: is naked drinking at the Ettrick Tavern a common occurrence? Was he engaged as a male stripper at the panelbeaters' pub lunch break? I understand it can get quite hot in Alexandra, so I surmise he was only wearing his panelbeater overalls at the pub - easy to get off!
Again, if I were the judge and had recovered from rofling after that case in my court room, my sentence would be publication of Warehouse security footage on the internet. And he can buy me a drink at his next pub show appearance.