February 04, 2011

My Penis and Everyone Else's

Men and their dicks have the most intimate of relationships but, like in most relationships, it can all go horribly wrong and divorce isn't really an option unless you are a transsexual, of course. The Documentary Channel showed "My Penis and Everyone Else's" (watch it here) exploring the vast terrain of the fixations men have with their dicks: whether it's the wrong length, girth, shape, colour, in bad working order or laughed at by women. Comparing cocks isn't really an option in the straight world and mental health issues are being created by the distorted lenses used in pornography showing unrealistic but aspirational sizes, girths and tumescence. Competition between men is fierce in the sexual arena and it's made even more relentless by the perceived female judgments behind their backs. Somebody should tell those smirking women that it's not the cock that's too small but their vagina that's too big. It would save a lot of male heartache and anxiety.
Again unfortunately, this was a very hetero-centred programme and forgot to draw on the vast real-life experience of gay men in penis sizes and shapes and not only from pornography. Gay men of course have size issues too, hence the half-jokingly gay male dual typology of size queens or liars. Not that that encourages gay men to talk about their dicks either but at least they are not as ignorant as the males in the film at the (inspired) exhibition of photographs of anonymous (flaccid) cocks collected via Snap Your Chap. I was surprised that no-one picked up on the fact that flaccid cocks are really a bad indicator of how big they can grow and thus shouldn't be a worry (or as Gay Banker said he'd rather have a hard one than a large one). But the revealing thing was that it only took a few pints of beer at the exhibit to get the boys talking and eventually snapping their chappies too for an instant polaroid addition to the exhibition.
The one thing that did annoy me was the cod historical lesson in classical Greek sexual aesthetics. Greek marble statues of boys and men have all small penises but you cannot conclude therefore that Greek people ignored genitalia. The aim of the statues was to portray the ideal body, i.e. its athleticism and muscle definition. Since the penis isn't a muscle and therefore can't be worked on at the gymnasium, having big cocks on statues would only detract from the real object of beauty: those shoulders, those arms, those pecs, those legs, that six-pack, that arse! And pointing out that satyrs and 'uncivilised' creatures were portrayed as having big cocks just means that as long as you have big one you don't need to be beautiful to be successful in the sexual arena. A truth still valid today.

1 comment:

Elly said...

The exhibition looks fascinating.

You seem to blame hetero women quite a bit for ridiculing men with small dicks. I don't know if this is quite fair. I have never been a 'size queen' myself, and if I was, an effective riposte to this Freudian would be, 'yeah, well at least I got a dick'. Penis envy is a weird and wonderful thing, and I think men suffer from it as much as women if not more in some ways.

Once I dated a man who really did have a tiny cock. The humiliation he felt was palpable, though neither of us never mentioned it, and we never even attempted 'piv' or penetrative sex. Luckily for me, him and his cock, he was very adept at tying me up so that took the heat off him. Mostly. I still feel weird thinking about him. Like his small dick somehow rubbed off on me.

Great post anyway.