Labour MP Darren Hughes resigned from Parliament yesterday as witness reports emerged of a distressed, naked man on the street near Mr Hughes' Wellington home on the night a youth complained to police about an incident of a sexual nature.Note the coy reporting, the vagueness of the words 'distress' (does it mean he lost his hardon?); a 'youth' (the guy in question is 18, of legal sexual and drinking age); 'incident of a sexual nature' (this could cover anything from fumbled flashing to naked mud wrestling)
One witness told 3 News a flustered man, matching a description of the complainant, was near the Mt Victoria tunnel around 5 o'clock on the morning in question.That is quite an astute witness report, with details of place, poise and motivation all vividly described. Earlier reports say the (presumably fully clothed) youth and the MP had been going out drinking around Wellington and ended up at Annette King's house where Mr Hughes boards.
"He was standing there with one hand over his private parts and the other hand with his thumb out, hitch-hiking," the witness said.
"I thought, 'Oh boy, the husband's come home and it's a quick exit'."
Since the police have not issued any further information, it's time to speculate on what should be investigated:
- why did the youth wait until 5am before deciding it was a good idea to make a quick getaway?
- if you're at someone's house naked, one can safely presume you are there willingly for a party of a sexual nature;
- I can understand distress could be caused by the sight of carrot-coloured pubes (Mr Hughes is a ginga) but one should get over that as soon as possible in life;
- we have all walked the Walk of Shame after a night of disappointing hookups (especially at age 18), but that is really no reason to leave your clothes on the floor. Moving on means not leaving baggage behind.
- Wellington at 5am is not really a place for naturist games when a stiff southerly is blowing. No wonder he only needed one hand to cover his privates.