November 22, 2007

On your knees!

Christians in the United States love living in a parallel universe, where there is only evil outside its borders, where science is God-approved and based on Biblical statements, where the dollar isn't falling (because all other currencies are funny money anyway), where migrants aren't a source of economic growth but a menace to national identity, and where Conservapedia is the approved educational resource for homeschoolers and gun owners, far superior to that Satanic tool masquerading as Wikipedia.

But what do Christianists (as the American version of Islamists/Jihadists are called) actually look up in their favourite online resource guide?

Conservapedia Most viewed pages: (link via Andrew Sullivan)

1. Main Page‎ [1,914,762]
2. Homosexuality‎ [1,585,363]
3. Homosexuality and Hepatitis‎ [517,474]
4. Homosexuality and Promiscuity‎ [421,226]
5. Gay Bowel Syndrome‎ [395,230]
6. Homosexuality and Parasites‎ [388,621]
7. Homosexual Couples and Domestic Violence‎ [373,303]
8. Homosexuality and Gonorrhea‎ [331,719]
9. Homosexuality and Mental Health‎ [292,779]
10. Homosexual Agenda‎ [270,824]

Surprising? Or perhaps unsurprising. Ever have that feeling too they are a tad obsessed with us?
I recommend your read the "Homosexuality" section. Muddled, badly edited, selective quotes from sources of more or less dubious value, cobbled together into a piece of nonsense, for sure, but not entirely without humour: I didn't know there was no homosexuality in rural areas. Haven't they noticed any lesbian and gay farmers? And their funny spelling of "cigarrete". And their hypocritical dumping of Mr Foley from their club after such excellent service to their anti-gay legislative cause. But I just wonder how those home schoolers can use anything from there for their homework assignments (is that what it's called, or is homework for a home schooler an oxymoron?)
Not to mention the outright misinformation and lies about issues such as AIDS. They really should add a section on "heterosexuality" with an item on how the majority of AIDS cases in the world are heterosexually transmitted.
Drudging through it all, at the end you feel like you're covered in ectoplasm (defined as "spiritual bukkake").

Oh, and don't forget to read Jesus' General's marvellous letter to the Conservapedia big cheese.

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