The officially "Unofficial Gay Car"

The Bangkok Post (via Towleroad) muses on whether cars are made for gay men, or can be made to appeal to gay men, and whether Thailand is ready for gay car marketing. The new Mini Cooper apparently fits the bill, but obviously only when they have zebra stripes do they appeal to the Thai gayboys.

That is so not how the Mini Cooper appeals to western gay men (like me). Even the unreconstructed retrosexuals of Top Gear have put the Mini on their Cool Car Wall as a "subzero car", even though Jeremy Clarkson was praising it with faintness when he said

"they should make a quintessentially German [Mini] giving it trafficators that imitate a Nazi salute and a satnav that only goes to Poland." He concluded by commenting: "Und ein fanbelt that lasts a thousand years!"

Well, the English got thrashed in Germany this year, so they should be finally over the Second World War.

But to stick to the original point, of course the Mini is a gay car: it is an incredible boy magnet that never fails.
Even my cat, who is vehemently opposed to travelling by car, likes sitting on the bonnet of mine.

Who drives those seriously uncool cars anyway?

The Ford Motor Company has come to an agreement with the American Family Association to avoid a boycott of its products (a la AFA's attempt to boycott Disneyland due to its gay-days). Ford rolled over (!) and will end its advertising in the gay press to avoid Christian families not buying its crap cars.

WardsAuto says:

"Ford Motor Co.'s decision to cease advertising in gay publications for its Jaguar and Land Rover luxury brands is part of a truce between the auto maker and the AFA to avert a threatened boycott by the right-wing Christian conservative group. AFA called a boycott in May to protest of what the group called an 'enthusiastic' support of the gay rights agenda. At issue were several ads Ford’s Premier Automotive Group brands were running in gay and lesbian publications in Europe and Ford’s sponsorship of homosexual events. In addition, Ford has agreed not to sponsor any future gay and lesbian events but will continue to maintain its employee policies, such as same-sex partner benefits."

Uroskin says: Drive a Mini instead!

How you know a teacher from a homosexual terrorist?

Easy. A teacher uses a red laser to point at the blackboard. A homosexual uses a geen laser to point at hotties at nightclubs and occasionally at incoming planes to blind the pilots, in which case he becomes a terrorist. In a "news" story, two gay men, driving in their Mini Cooper - such a GAY car (I got one, see left) - were apprehended by cops and cuffed on suspicion of pointing a green laser beam at a police helicopter.

“Suddenly all these black SUVs surrounded our MiniCoop," says Garcia. “Next thing we knew, we were in the back seat of a Ford Explorer wearing handcuffs." Adds Feldman: "We're open to a lot of stuff, but S&M is not big on our list." [...] In recent years, pocket lasers have become increasingly popular at gay dance clubs. Paco Garcia explains that club-goers often use the green laser pointers to add to the excitement on the dance floor. "When you see a buff guy, guys point pocket lasers on him. That way he stands out and he knows that we think he’s hot," explains Garcia.

You reckon the car cops were jealous of their chopper colleagues because the laser beams were not aimed at them? Maybe eating less donuts and working out more in the gym would increase their chances of being zapped by the gay laser beam.