Choose your Golden Stud again

It's that time of year again when the European soccer season is in full swing but now calls attention to player's attributes other than their ball skills. You can again vote for your favourite "Golden Stud", organised by Flemish current affairs and media periodical Humo.
You may remember 2006's delectable choice.

This year I'm going for Johan Gerets (pictured left), even though he's a bit too tall for my liking. Is it me but have footballers gone less bulk muscular?

You can see the candidates and vote here.

Are you glad it's over?

A wonderful new tradition should take root when your football team wins: wave your shorts in the air and jump/dive around like you just don't care.
And what could that Italian have said to Zidane to turn him from a mild-mannered non-practicing Muslim man into a clinically controlled headbutter within a few seconds? Possibly something to do with his mother, as in an Italian version of "y tu Mama tambien" - after all, these Italians know a thing or two about mother fixations. Or something about "terrorism", which indicates the Italians were actually dead scared of him.
But Zidane got his golden ball anyway and well-deserved too.

UPDATE: The taunts by the Italian included references to his mother, terrorism and cast aspersions on his whakapapa. I'm amazed and I admire Zidane's restraint in his reaction. Great headline in the Mirror: Why ZZ Blew His Top

Picture via Queer Beacon.
Oh La La Paris has some more fun pix of soccer players in underpants.

World cup irony

The ironic thing is that the second-rating English squad will now return to their millionaire premier division football, while the (possible) world champion Italians will go back to playing in the second division because their clubs will have been relegated due to corruption scandals.

Weekend entertainment

A few days of entertainment highs and lows to while away the wintry days here. There is a lot of sunshine around but temperatures plummet to almost freezing at night, so indoor activities and fun are what was called for and that is what we got:

The world cup soccer quarter finals: the Brazilian show ponies beaten by "Les Vieux" was excellent breakfast time watching. Surely "Le Marseillaise" is the only national anthem that is sung by the crowds in the stands after kick-off - and thus the measure of a true battle hymn. The French don't need god to defend themselves, like New Zealand does, "les enfants" will do nicely.
I'm behind Portugal now, they got the best looking team left in the competition and I always back the smallest country. And also because of the really ugly incident involving Wayne Rooney who deliberately kicked Ricardo Carvalho viciously in the gonads. It was in a street brawling tradition best left to the back streets of Manchester, so that f***en ugly chav ("Nobby Stiles with teeth", as one wag called him) should crawl back to his hovel and be banned from the game for a good time. If only he handled the football as expertly as he can kick Portuguese boy balls his team might have gone a bit further. But he was obviously wanting to go home anyway.

Jericho (The Killing of Johnny Swann episode, sorry spoilers follow): now I always wanted to be cabin boy to Robert Lindsay's Captain Pellew aboard HMS Indefatigable in "Hornblower", but now Robert Lindsay is even more terrific in "Jericho", a marvellously atmospheric series set in 1950s Soho London. It only took till the second episode for the underground gay world being the story, complete with "speakeasy" type back street gay bars featuring tragic drag queens and effeminate stagehands. Having Mancunian athletic but pretty boy William Ash (from "Burn It") playing the closet queen was inspired casting despite the storyline being a bit cliche and dodgy: the closet queen is of course the murderer, he can't live a happy life and ultimately has to die too. How very "Celluloid Closet"!

Speedway Junky (1999): A Dickensian tale set in contemporary Las Vegas, with very spunky Jesse Bradford (also seen in all his naked torso glory in "Swimfan") trying to get his portion of the American dream, as in "rugged individualism and trampling on everybody gets you to the top" kind of ideology, but he is actually completely depending for survival on his newly adopted "family" of gay hustlers and former prostitutes. A sort of David Copperfield in the desert. Bleak and terribly tragic, but oh so slightly annoying by the cop out at the end. Terrific dialogue though (via About Gay Movies):

Steven: So, you completely straight or what?
Johnny: Of course, yeah aren't you?
Steven: Well, personally, I dig that but, but when it comes to work it is simply a matter of cashflow.
Eric: See, Steven is bisexual. Buy him something and have sex.
Steven: I'm a businessman, Johnny, the customer always 'comes' first

Recommended.
And tonight "Shameless" starts on UK TV. Bless the Gallagher family!

Soccer World Champs Golden Stud

Since we're on the subject of football totty these days, described by one cultural critic as "sporno", you can now vote for your own favourite cross-pollinated football pin-up/male flesh wet dream come true and playing on field in Germany here. Click on "Kies uw WK Stud".

No prizes for guessing whom I voted for.

Football as the new religion

As if you needed further proof that god is dead and football has taken her place, adidas paid for this fresco to be painted on the roof of Cologne train station, to celebrate the world cup soccer finals. I can see this catching on as a trend to brighten up the retractable roofs over the stadiums, now that they are considered the new cathedrals. Michelangelo would have approved, even though a few more ignudi wouldn't have gone amiss.
Picture via Towleroad.

Men in Pants

Our favourite English rugby player, Ben Cohen, and former footballer Jason Cundy, who is a testicular cancer survivor, appeared on a mid-morning chat show on ITV to promote a charity, Orchid, involving itself with male cancers.
There is nothing more important for boys and men to learn how to feel up, pat, stroke and get up close with their dicks and balls. And each others'.

More gorgeous snaps on Towleroad.

Sports worth watching: naked football

It's a football thing

It makes you wish American comedy was always that funny.

Sex in the news

News item:

Two bisexual Premiership stars made some VERY dirty phone calls—using a mobile as a gay sex toy. The players—one capped several times for England—were caught on camera cavorting with a pal well known in the music industry in a homosexual orgy that will shock soccer. The three men—who cannot be identified for legal reasons—are pictured wearing just vests and boxer shorts as they tackle each other in ways fans never expected.

For the fashion-illiterate among you: a vest is a wifebeater. A very fashionable item, unlike the boxer shorts.

In the astonishing pictures Player A—a household name who has a reputation as a rebel on and off the pitch—shoves his mobile down his boxers. He performs a sex act with it which is too obscene to be described here.

Oh, please, we're all consenting adults here, you can tell us. I remember a performance artist here in Auckland during a gig shoving his mobile phone up his arse and then asked a member of the public to call his number. Great fun!

Then Player B calls his number to make the phone vibrate. Player A is also pictured on the bed while Player B—a multi-million pound goal-scoring mid-fielder—kneels to perform oral sex on him. Meanwhile the music man can also be seen leaning over the pair, kissing and caressing the footballers, who play for different sides.

If you're familiar with the tribalism of English football, you know you are only allowed to kiss your team mates, full on the lips, perhaps even with tongues, to congratulate him for scoring a goal. Kissing a member of the opposite team is tantamount to treason. So this episode of the orgy will have fans seething - never mind the arse phone games, I'm sure most football fans have thought about doing that at one time or another.

Soon it was like something out of a hard core porn film.
"One (Player A) lay on the bed while his mate (Player B) knelt down beside him and gave him a **** ***. Soon his (Player A's) face was contorted with pleasure. "When all this was going on, the music bloke was leaning all over them both, kissing and stroking every bit of flesh he could get to.

Why the asterisks? Don't these tabloid editors know we are adept at word sudoku? And doesn't the hack know how pleasurable a blow job is since he's surpised at the contorted faces (it's called "sex face" on Big Brother)

"You can see he's urging (Player B) to ring him. He must have had the vibrate alert on. (Player B) then gets out his phone and rings him again and again while (Player A) closes his eyes." In the set of images Player A seems to be the leader in the hardcore sex games while the music man is mainly content to watch.
"They were so relaxed with each other it looked like this wasn't the first time," said our source. "It wouldn't surprise me if they'd had each other's numbers before."

Well, it all sounds they had a thoroughly good time, away from the stress and pressures of the football field and footballers' girlfriends, able to relax in a truly manly atmosphere. One thing though: I don't think they wil invite the one back who took and then sold the pictures to the newspaper. But I bet the News of the World hack would love to join in one day.

News item via Oh La La Paris.

The Golden Stud

Now is your chance to choose Belgium's sexiest footballer (as in the round ball version). The candidates and pictures are here.

No contest, really. Looking at Frederic Dupre I will have to bang my dick in the car door to make it go down again.

I bet bath time at SV Zulte-Waregem is far more fun than the on-pitch action.
Look at those freckles!
And just who is the lucky boy that shaves him? It's the only job worth having in football.


UPDATE: Our boy didn't win. Jamaique Vandamme did. I can live with that.

Dribble freely

Freddie Ljundberg is Calvin Klein's new model.
Yes, you have my permission to lick the screen now.

Which soccer player said it?

"I think I have lost a lot of my gay fans to Welsh rugby star Gavin Henson. It is a shame as I really love them."

If only the Lions rugby tour was as exciting

Jonah Lomu couldn't believe his luck by not having to play in the All Blacks-Lions series because he could behold a most magnificent performance, much better than any soccer or rugby match, of strip-jack poker by Rio Ferdinand and drinking buddies. This is how the Herald report had it:

"What happens when one of the globe’s top rugby stars meets one of its top soccer stars? In the case of Jonah Lomu and Rio Ferdinand, it’s all eyes averted... Lomu, in the UK last week for his return match to competitive rugby, was strolling through one of the bars in the $1500-a-night London hotel, The Grove, when he was exposed to more than he bargained for - England and Manchester United soccer defender Ferdinand in the buff. "He was completely naked. I didn’t know what to think," Lomu said. "Rio and his buddies were drinking and playing strip-jack naked. It was some sight." Lomu said Ferdinand was too caught up drinking champagne, beer, wine "and having a good time" to notice him so he just kept walking. "I tried to keep my head down, but you couldn’t miss them. Rio was starkers. He had absolutely nothing on."

The Lions look rather ho-hum in comparison, really.