New Zealand is most peaceful country on earth

Oh how we love international rankings, especially when we come on top or in the top 10: least corrupt and one of the best cities to live in. And now most peaceful country on earth (up from #4 last year) in the Global Peace Index:
1. New Zealand
2. Denmark
3. Norway
4. Iceland
5. Austria
6. Sweden
7. Japan
8. Canada
9. Finland
9. Slovenia
10. Czech Republic

It's not difficult to draw some conclusions from this top 10 and post some theses:
- The more secular/atheist a country, the more peaceful it is
- The more religious a country, the more belligerent (and internally repressive and violent)
- The more respect for human rights, the more peaceful

And it's remarkable how respect for gay rights correlates highly with the peace: Compare the peace index map with the world gay rights map:
Love instead of war is something we queers are good at (irate drag queens notwithstanding).

Have another one, just like the other one

From The Daily Torygraph (so it must be true):

"The Austrian far-Right politician Jörg Haider was seen drinking in a gay bar shortly before his fatal car crash."

One should not be surprised here. Being a closet homosexual and have far-right views on life, the universe and everything has a long pedigree. Check out these other dudes who I really don't want in my fag club either: SA Nazi leader Ernst Röhm, FBI founder J Edgar Hoover, Ayn Rand New Zealand Fan Club Leader Lindsay Perigo, and now Mr Haider. Control queens, who needs them?

My only experience with Nazi fucking is some trade telling me one night that he used to bed several of the (British) National Front leadership. The sex was forgettable but the remark stuck.

UPDATE: The plot thickens:

"Conservative Austria was in a state of shock today after the male successor to Jörg Haider admitted to having a longstanding "special relationship" with the far right leader who died dramatically in a high speed car crash earlier this month.
Stefan Petzner – the 27-year-old who recently replaced Haider as leader of the right wing Alliance for the Future of Austria and has often appeared in tears on television since his death - effectively outed himself as the deceased’s gay lover while being interviewed on an Austrian radio breakfast show."

Call me old fashioned, but Nazi sex is only fun in bed (as in: Me Germany, you Poland).

UPDATE 2: The BBC reports that Haider was "the man of his life" for Mr Petzner. So not yet out of the closet. Just a romantic entanglement the ancient Spartan way. I trust it came with all the naked wrestling bouts in the dust of Carinthia.

UPDATE 3: The New Zealand National Front protested in Wellington over the weekend and clashed with anti-fascist demonstrators. It was certainly a bit rich in irony, considering the Haider revelations, that said Fronters hurled verbal abuse at the anarchists, calling them "faggots". They should look in the mirror a bit more often. And protest a little less.

Go Dean!

Hurricane (James) Dean was busy bashing Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, I can't help but think it's some sort of divine retribution (Greek furies-style rather than Judaeo-Christian-Islamic) for those batty boy beaters on Jamaica and the homophobic Cayman Islanders. I'll be cheering Zeus on to send a few more lightning strikes down.

Queenie wipes fundamentalist arse

All of us who want to give one back to all those intolerant, ignorant, dangerous fanatically religious pricks, here's a story that will warm you:

"Hate preacher Abu Hamza has refused any more treatment from his prison nurse after finding out the man is gay.
The nurse, nickname Queenie, has been helping to wash and dress the convicted terrorist for more than two years."

Give this man a medal for bravery!

"Officers at Belmarsh jail are said to be surprised Hamza, 48, has not noticed before."

Not only dumb, but deaf and blind too.

"The nurse is upset about it. He has spent the last couple of years doing everything for Hamza, even wiping his bottom."

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't want to touch that man's arse with my bargepole. Another OBE, Queen Lilybeth! Nay, even a VC for bravery venturing into hellish holes and live to tell the tale!
And the last laugh?

"Hamza has been refusing treatment while he is on duty but he won't be able to keep that up because it is causing him a great deal of discomfort."

Priceless. We look forward to hearing from Queenie how Hamza got on with wiping his own arse using only that pirate hook. Go, Queenie!

Daddy, why did you become a heterosexual?

The peculiar American culture war raging about the origins, purpose, sinfulness and complexity of homosexuality is amusingly surveyed by Duncan France, who describes himself as a "self-evident" gay man, in his article for New York Magazine.

From phrenological observations of hair whorls and ring finger digit lengths, to gay penguins who do a u-turn the next breeding season, to what makes lesbians have limbs as long as those of straight men (and aren't into casual sex but potluck dinners), it's an amusing overview of how scientists are trying to come to grips with what makes a guy lust after guys (and their female equivalent), how to spot one, and - more sinisterly - how to possibly cure one using prenatal screening for the (as one scientist let slip, "wrong") sexual orientation gene settings.

It's a rollicking read which will make you check your hair whorl, digit lengths, left-handedness, 3D spatial reading ability and your sibling birth order: all indicators on which I score as straight - so much for phrenology then.

If I had a methodological quibble with one of the research projects it would be this one:

When shown pornographic videos, men have an undeniable response either to gay or straight images but not both, according to sensitive gauges attached to their genitals — it’s that binary.

In my opinion many gay men get aroused by straight porn too - as long as there is a guy in the scene. Far better would have been to measure the response to gay porn and lesbian porn. Straight men love some good girl-on-girl action (many would call that "self-evident" too, as a quick ask round of my straight friends has confirmed) while that wouldn't stir any gauges attached to my (or gay mates') loins.

In all, my beef is not so much with the way those scientists want to find out about my sexuality and sexual orientation - I am pretty comfortable with who I am. If it was found I was born that way, so be it. And if it is a matter of choice, well, if I had to go back in time I would make the same choice again.
I would rather scientists spend their time a little bit more productively by researching what makes guys straight, because heterosexuality seems to me a much bigger source of social unrest, deviancy, delinquency, war and unhappiness - and curing this would make the world a better place, not only for homosexuals but their girlfriends too.

Nigeria's homophobic laws: what you can do

Peter Tatchell, that indefatigable icon of gay activism, reports that Nigeria is busy passing one of the world's most explicit and far-reaching anti-gay laws:

"The bill is primarily concerned with banning same-sex marriage, but its sub-clauses go much further. They will strip lesbian and gay Nigerians of their already limited civil rights. The bill outlaws almost every expression, affirmation and celebration of gay identity and sexuality, and prohibits the provision of sympathetic advice and welfare support to lesbians and gay men.
Violations will be punished with an automatic five year jail sentence.
The draconian measure will outlaw membership of a gay group, attending a gay meeting or protest, advocating gay equality, donating money to a gay organisation, hosting or visiting a gay website, the publication or possession of gay safer sex advice, renting or selling a property to a gay couple, expressions of same-sex love in letters or emails, attending a same-sex marriage or blessing ceremony, screening or watching a gay movie, taking or possessing photos of a gay couple, and publishing, selling or loaning a gay book or video.
Even mere socialising by two or more gay people could be interpreted as illegal."

He advises to:
- Email your protest to the Nigerian High Commissioner in London or the Nigerian top diplomat in your own country (for Australia and New Zealand, email the Nigerian High Commission in Canberra)
- Since Nigeria is a member of the Commonwealth, please also email the Commonwealth Secretary-General (New Zealander Don McKinnon), urging him to press the Nigerian government to scrap the new anti-gay law.
- Remind both men that this homophobic bill enshrines severe, illegal discrimination and is a violation of Nigeria's commitment to uphold international human rights law.

This sort of thing requires some imaginative responses. So this is what you should do too: every time you get a Nigerian scam email, reply that the sender has deliberately contacted a gay person and offered large pots of money and is thus guilty of breaching Nigerian law.
As an addendum add a picture of yourself in a lewd pose, kissing a member of the same sex (or worse), and tell them you have forwarded it on to the Nigerian police with an outline of all the new laws they have broken. You may not get much more scam mail after that!

When you're gay

Success at age 8 is: playing a fairy and knowing you are one
success at age 18 is: having sex and being able to get paid for it
success at age 28 is: popping a pill to keep going all weekend
success at age 38 is: having a boyfriend who loves you for your body
success at age 48 is: having a boyfriend who loves you for your mind
success at age 58 is: popping a pill to keep going all weekend
success at age 68 is: having sex and being able to pay for it
success at age 78 is: playing a fairy and knowing you have always been one

Jobs for the boys

The Mayor of Spokane, Jim West, has been giving out jobs to his (rent)boys. I fail to see why this is such a big deal. Girls have been getting a leg up the career ladder after a legover for yonks, so why should boys not apply their assets and skills to the same purpose? I'm not sure how those talents can be externally applied productively in a city government job. I can imagine Amsterdam City Council having whores on its pay roll, but Spokane?
Darker secrets lurking beneath the "family-friendly" image of Spokane have been surfacing. It makes me think of Twin Peaks.

A legitimate reason to start bombing Iran?

I'm not holding my breath that the international community will get behind any effort to attack Iran because of a couple of teenagers being hanged for being queer. It's not the first time - did I hear there have been 4,000 executions for homosexuality in Iran since 1979? - and looking at a barbaric penal code like that of the Islamic Republic it's no wonder. To protest: Iranian embassy in NZ website.
But I can't shake off the feeling that the likes of Brian Tamaki or any Christian fundamentalist would love a similar penal code established here too, so you won't hear much indignation from that quarter (let alone the White House - they're too busy trying to suppress any sodomy movies coming out of Abu Ghraib).
This is what I wrote to the embassy:

Dear Sir,
I wish to respectfully notify my outrage over the recent (and by all reports not uncommon) execution of two gay teenagers by your Government.
There is absolutely no reason, philosophically, culturally or socially, to justify the killing of people who happen to have expressed their love for each other. Would they have gotten a lighter sentence if they had murdered someone instead – or had organised a bombing of innocent bystanders?
It makes it very difficult for anyone to embrace multiculturalism or have respect for a political and legal system that has such utterly barbaric sentences for non-crimes, let alone have any respect for a religious belief that condones and sustains such system.
Yours sincerely,

There is a net petition on this issue here.
UPDATE: This is what I got back from the Iranian Embassy in reply to my letter:

Dear Hans,
I appreciate your concern, but according to our information, they have not been gay, but they have been rapists and had caused alot [sic] of hardship for the people of their town including the rape of a 13 year old boy. They were both over 18 years old and they were put on trial and as wished by the parents of the 13 year old raped boy, were found guilty and the verdict was announced and carried out according to the law of the country.

Never mind that both were executed for being gay rather than for rape.

More things that puzzle my Asperger's mind

If being gay in the army is not allowed, and you sign up as a gay man; and you get wounded in battle and you get a purple heart for your trouble; and after you get shipped out to convalesce, you decide to come out and you want to return to your unit for some more; and the army says no because you can't tell; why sign up in the first place? Why would you want to defend such a system, or even want to die for it?
Not all queens have brains, it seems.

Politically correct party animals on redneck cocaine

I'm a firm believer in looking after your own health, prevention being better than a cure and all that jazz, but now I'm a bit taken aback that this attitude is regarded as somehow disrespectful of people with HIV.
In a nutshell the question is: can I be as celebratory proud of being HIV negative as we have been celebrating and supporting HIV positive people?
A very thoughtful and quite scary article by Michael Specter on AIDS, speed and gay men cruising online covers a lot of ground, from age issues, loneliness of older unattached gay males, drug use, AIDS fatigue, the medicalisation of US society to all night sex marathons and a lot more.
Highly recommended reading, and I'm unsure whether to feel pity for all those partying souls, or angry at the denial and self-denial going on or sad about prevention messages for HIV negative men being labelled as un-PC.
Here's a short extract:

"[Bay Area psychologist named Walt] Odets said the gay community split in 1985, the moment a reliable H.I.V. test was available. “Before that day, everyone was in it together,” he said. “Nobody knew who had it and everyone acknowledged that it was a horror. And then, in April of 1985, we started protecting people who had H.I.V. And we did that by normalizing infection - and we have done that all along. It has completely compromised prevention work, to the extent that when the aids Health Project, in San Francisco, put up a banner outside its facility that said ‘Stay Healthy Stay Negative’ the gay public was incensed. Men wrote in and said, ‘I have H.I.V. and I am perfectly healthy. How dare you imply that I am not?’
While it has always been important to protect and support H.I.V.-infected men in the gay community, Odets argues that it has become difficult to teach men who test negative how essential it is for them to remain uninfected. “This is not about making positive men feel good about themselves,” Odets said. “It’s about protecting H.I.V.-negative men.” He told me that he had even conducted workshops where it was nearly impossible to shift the primary prevention message from supporting positive men to remaining uninfected. “There is just way too much guilt. Too much discomfort because what you are saying to a positive man is ‘I don’t want to be like you.’ ”
Daniel Carlson agrees. “There is some level of guilt about not living with the disease,” he said. “About staying negative. People will say, ‘Oh, look at you going around and glorifying your negative status.’ I don’t go around and say, ‘Hey, I tested negative today, joy to the world.’ And, believe me, when people test positive they do talk about it and they get support. People like me - we keep our mouths shut.”

No Ass, No Tail

If the US armed forces want to remain top cop in the world, they will have to seriously give thought to abolishing that strange policy where you can serve in the military but only if you are inside a sexual closet. Recruitment is way off its target figure and 10,000 service personnel has been drummed out due to those silly politico-sexual games. The News Hour with Jim Lehrer had, as usual, an excellent report on the issues.
So what happens when they bring in the draft? You no longer need to flee to Canada, just come out?

Faggots I really don't want in my gang

- J Edgar Hoover
- Ernst Roehm
- Lindsay Perigo
I'm open to further suggestions.

Auschwitz liberation ceremonies

It's good to remember the past horrors and have a look at the naked cynicism on display at official commemorations such as the Auschwitz one this week.
Russian President Putin's speech really irked me for being sanctimonious. He could have mentioned his own country's past gulags and its contemporary hell-hole Chechnya, where policies, conditions and just sheer horror are not that far removed from the Nazi examples.
And French President Jacques Chirac could have said sorry for the complicity of the Vichy regime and local collaborators in the French police force in the deportations.
But no, all hollow words and faith-based pronouncements for the future and "how it should never happen again, ever".
I visited the Buchenwald concentration camp near Weimar in 1983. It sure was a very moving experience. More of a work-you-to-death camp than a gas chamber facility, but what really struck me was the huge variety of inmates that were interned there. There were a lot of political prisoners (domestic and from the occupied territories) and Russian POWs, but also other minorities, presumably selected for their work capabilities (the camp was built and maintained entirely by prison labour).

The liberation of the camps at the end of the war spelled the end of the horrors for many a lucky survivor, but I prefer to spare a thought for the homosexual inmates who, due to their contemporary legal status as criminals (paragraph 175, which outlawed gay sex, was still in force), just swapped one prison for another. There was no gay Israel for the pink triangle wearers to emigrate to.

Don't fence me in

I never went to boarding school, so I luckily missed out on all the "compulsory rugby and homosexuality" (dixit Julian Clary), but my boyfriend did. He never indicated any shenanigans going on, especially of the sort that fuels fantasies about such places, apart from the teasing and nicknaming.
But now Johann Hari tried to dig a little deeper into the trauma, rape, homophobia, institutional support for heterosexuality, and some positive experiences of former pupils.
I wonder if the NZ Herald will reprint this particular article of his as they have done in the past, considering the final lines:

"Boarding school and gay boys go together like Michael Barrymore and swimming pool gang-bangs. You just know it’ll end in disaster."

Michael Barrymore is nowadays a new New Zealander and a columnist for the Herald on Sunday newspaper. We presume his swimming pool is fenced, as per the law here. Not that the swimming pool fencing law is there to prevent gang-bangs! (We're not that backward here)

Belated Sunday reading

After all those months of hype, this town saw the debut of a new Sunday newspaper last weekend. It's tabloid by style and nature, and as such it was really too much to ask for a quality read.
Rather than a version of the UK's Independent on Sunday, all we got in the Herald on Sunday was an extended version of express newspaper (a gay bi-weekly), I mean what was it with all those gay-related stories on civil unions, ex-gay ministries, and Michael Barrymore (by the way, welcome to Kiwiland, mate, the pools must have fences here so no drunk or drugged straight guys can fall into them). And the Mini car feature was a near repeat of the Saturday version. Do these editors never talk to each other?
In all, not a compulsive read, methinks, and a lot of Kiwis have far better written blogs than newspaper columns.
The Saturday Herald, by contrast, is still a better paper, if you can call any newspaper in New Zealand any good, so I think I will stick to paying my ISP for net access to quality newspapers.

Tie the Knots and Knot the Ties

The list of occupations of the gay people who applied in the first week for civil marriage licences in Massachussetts:

Acceptance tester, Accounting manager, accounts payable manager, activist, activity director, advertising, administrative assistant, administrator, airline employee, anesthetist, antiques dealer, appraiser, area manager, architect, artisan, artist, arts administrator, assembler, assembly technician, astrologer, at-home mom, athletic coach, athletic trainer, attorney, audiovisual coordinator.
Baker, bank branch manager, bank executive, banquet manager, bartender, billing coordinator, boat builder, book dealer, bookstore manager, buyer.
Cabinet maker, camp director, cantor, career counselor, carpenter, case manager, caterer, cell phone specialist, certified nurse assistant, certified nurse midwife, certified public accountant, chef, chaplain, chief financial officer, chief operating officer, chemist, chemistry professor, child nutrition program specialist, child psychologist, childbirth educator, choreographer, civil engineer, claim analyst, clergy, clerk, clinical chemistry supervisor, clinical coordinator, clinical director, clinical social worker, clinician, college administrator, college professor, community center director, company president, compliance officer, computer analyst, computer consultant, computer programmer, computer specialist, computer systems manager, consultant, contractor, controller, cook, corporate benefits manager, correction officer, cosmetologist, countertop installer, courier, craftmaker, creative arts therapist, creative director, crisis clinician, custodian, customer service.
Data architect, database administrator, designer, desktop publisher, development associate, diagnostic radiological technician, dialysis technician, dietician, director, director of athletics, director of employment, director of membership, director of recreation, director of religious education, director of technology, domestic engineer, draftsman.
Economist, editor, educator, electrical engineer, electrician, electronic technician, emergency room technician, engineer, English professor, entrepreneur, environmental scientist, Episcopal priest, equipment installer, estimator, event planner, executive, executive assistant, executive director, expeditor.
Facilitator, faculty dean, farmer, field service engineer, filmmaker, financial adviser, financial analyst, financial manager, financial representative, firefighter, fitness director, fitness specialist, flight attendant, floral designer, florist, food service manager, forestry technician, fund accountant, fund-raiser, furniture sales.
Gallery owner, gardener, general manager, gifts coordinator, geographic information systems analyst, Girl Scout executive, glazier, goldsmith, golf course superintendent, graphic artist, groomer, group leader, guidance counselor.
Hardware store, hairdresser, hair designer, hair stylist, health and conservation agent, health and safety manager, health care administrator, health care ethicist, health inspector, higher education administrator, historian, history teacher, holistic health counselor, home daycare, homemaker, hospice nurse, hospital administrator, hotel manager, house cleaner, house painter, housewife, human resources, human services director.
Information security consultant, information technology specialist, inspector, insurance adjuster, insurance broker, Internal Revenue Service, inventory control, investment banker.
Jeweler, journalist, judge.
Krispy Kreme manager.
Land surveyor, land use planner, landlord, landscape architect, landscaper, laundry owner, law professor, legal assistant, librarian, library media specialist, library page, literary agent, loan analyst, loan originator, locksmith, logistics manager.
Machine operator, manager, marine biologist, marine service, market research, marketing, massage therapist, medical administrator, media designer, medical technician, mental health counselor, mental health executive, midwife, minister, mortgage banker, muscular therapist, music teacher, musician.
Nanny, newspaper production, network administrator, night receiver, nurse, nurse's aide, nurse practitioner, nursing home administrator.
Occupational therapist, office clerk, office manager, ophthalmologist, optician, optometric technician, optometrist, orthopedic surgeon.
Packer, painter, paper hanger, paralegal, paramedic, park ranger, parole officer, pastor, pastry chef, PC technician, pediatric rehabilitation aide, percussionist, personal care attendant, pet business owner, pharmaceutical manager, phlebotomist, photographer, physical therapist, physician, physician assistant, picture framer, pilot, pipefitter, pizza maker, planner, plant manager, plumber, point of sale coordinator, police lieutenant, police officer, policy analyst, pool manager, postal worker, preschool teacher, principal, private detective, process consultant, produce manager, product designer, production coordinator, project manager, program manager, property manager, psychologist, psychotherapist, public access coordinator, public health director, public relations, publicist, publishing production manager.
Quality control inspector, quality control supervisor, quality coordinator.
Rabbi, radiologist, real estate broker, real estate director, real estate manager, Realtor, recycling coordinator, registrar, religious educator, registered nurse, reproductive biologist, research analyst, researcher, residential supervisor, respiratory therapist, restaurant manager, restaurateur owner, retail management, retired, risk manager.
Sales person, sales manager, sales rep, school administrator, school counselor, school nurse, school psychologist, scientist, security guard, self-employed, senior research specialist, server, service adviser, service manager, shipper/receiver, shipwright, shopkeeper, short order cook, small business owner, social insurance specialist, social worker, software engineer, software quality engineer, soil scientist, special education advocate, special education teacher, specialty food buyer, speech pathologist, stand-up comic, state trooper, store manager, student, superintendent of schools, supervisor, systems analyst.
Tailor, teacher, tech consultant, technical support engineer, technical writer, technician, telecommunications manager, temp, tennis instructor, tester, therapist, title examiner, training consultant, training manager, translator, transportation engineer, travel agent, travel consultant, triage coordinator, truck driver.
Unemployed, union officer, utility cleaner.
Veterinarian, veterinary technician, victim services advocate, video producer, violin maker, virologist, visual artist, vocational rehab counselor.
Waiter, warehouseman, web developer, web marketing manager, website administrator, welder, writer.
Yoga teacher, youth advocate, youth worker.

But here is my challenge: who would you put together to ensure a stable, lifelong partnership, to have and to hold, for bad and for worse?
My favourite: the dietician and the Krispy Kreme manager.

at straightacting.com.
Recommended for a good laugh!